10 reasons why he’s just not that into you

couple_arguing
Maybe he sees too much of your mother in you already.
The powerful maxim, ‘He’s just not that into you,’ has exploded over the past 10 years from a cute line on Sex and the City to a book… to a movie. Why is there so much hype around this simple, seemingly obvious statement? Because so many women still don’t get it!Ladies, before you start pining over phantom phone calls and missed dates, consider these hilarious tips from author Phil Torcivia. The divorced bachelor, who penned the wildly funny Such a Nice Guy, has a thing or two to say about why he might not be returning your affections.

Don’t be sad. It’s his problem, not yours. I’m sure there are numerous men out there who are attracted to you and don’t mind at all that you hog the remote, get text messages at 2 a.m. and pass gas in your sleep. We all have our little quirks. The key is avoiding the little jerks and finding someone who loves your idiosyncrasies. If that has become too difficult, find a good therapist, mix yourself a strong martini or see if one of the 10 reasons below applies.

1HE NEVER REALLY WAS INTO YOU

He just wanted to hook up. (Oh, stop sobbing. You’ve done it, too.)

2HE FOUND SOMEONE HE’S MORE INTO

It happens. Perhaps that lovely coworker he has been pining for suddenly left her boyfriend, whom she was just not that into.

3HE IS TIRED OF BEING DRAGGED TO CHURCH…

…and malls and family reunions and baby showers.

4YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS FRIGHTENED HIM

Maybe he sees too much of your mother in you already.

5HIS FRIENDS FINALLY TALKED HIM INTO LEAVING YOU

They whined, complained, and poked fun at him because, since you came around, he can’t come out and play after dinner as often.

 

6YOU NAG… A LOT

Anytime you ask him to do something more than twice, it’s no longer a reminder, it’s nagging. Nothing makes a man want to run out of the home screaming more than nagging (excluding the obvious: A bad call during a playoff game or accidentally catching his Willy in his zipper).

7HE’S A SLOB AND YOU’RE NEAT, OR VICE-VERSA

You don’t realize this until you share a hotel roomfor a week. Then, the unmade bed, clothing pile and missing toothpaste cap are sufficient reasons to check out of both the hotel and the relationship.

8YOU COST TOO MUCH

Hey, times are tough. He has to cut corners. His hand does not require expensive foreplay such as roses, sushi and La Crema chardonnay. His accountant advised him to rebuild his credit by sticking to solo nights in a dive bar with his nutritious dinner of happy hour draft beer and popcorn.

9YOU ARE NOT THE SAME WOMAN YOU WERE WHEN HE MET YOU

Remember that sexy number you were wearing? Those high boots with your designer jeans tucked inside them. That pink lace thong. The plunging neckline. Where did they go? Yes, you look cute in sweatpants, flip-flops and a trucker cap, but then again so does his uncle.

10YOU STARTED RATIONING THE COOKIE

You used to get busy all the time:In the car, on the kitchen counter and in the hotelJacuzzi. You used to initiate. In fact, according to the police log, you had orgasms loud enough to register on the Richter scale. Now, instead of changing positions, you change the channels. He misses those days when you used to fetch the sex towel.

It’s not so bad. Don’t be embarrassed. You, too, can learn from this or at least become more skilled at faking it. But just accept it — he’s just not that into you.

———————-

Read this article in She Knows

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

 

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail