by Dr. Sharon Rivkin

….beware of new cell phone habits. For example, he suddenly gets a new phone with a password lock.

1.HE HAS CHEATED BEFORE

Undoubtedly, past cheating behavior is the most reliable predictor for future cheating behavior.

2.HE IS A NARCISSIST

People with narcissistic personality traits feel that they’re entitled to more things than other people. They’re more likely to cheat because they feel they don’t have to play by the rules.

3.HE HAS NO SENSE OF GUILT

Men who don’t feel remorse or guilt when they do something wrong are prime candidates for cheating. They won’t have those emotions holding them back.

4.HE’S AN EXCELLENT LIAR

If he is good at lying about other things in his life, then he is likely good at lying to you about cheating.

5.HE LEARNED IT AT HOME

If one or both of his parents were routinely unfaithful, then he is more likely to be inclined to.

6.HE RECENTLY LOST HIS JOB

Unemployment puts strain on a marriage and can make a man feel vulnerable, especially if the job was important to him and defined his identity. When a man doesn’t feel so good about himself, he may boost his self-esteem through an affair.

7.HE IS SPENDING LESS TIME WITH YOU

You’re watching TV; he’s on the computer. You go to bed; he stays up late. You’re in the same house but not really together. If a man is organizing his life to spend less time with you, it doesn’t really matter whether he has met someone. Behavior like this signals a distance that becomes a breeding ground for infidelity.

8.HE IS BEING LESS AFFECTIONATE

Perhaps he doesn’t cuddle with you in bed anymore. Or he comes to bed fully dressed when he once slept nude. These are all ways of disconnecting and may indicate he is getting his intimacy somewhere else.

9.HIS COMPUTER HABITS HAVE CHANGED

Check his computer’s browser history once in a while to see where he’s been. A new and secretive email account would be a red flag. A new email account doesn’t necessarily mean your significant other is having an affair; but it becomes more likely if he is not willing to share the content of the account with you.

10.HIS CELL PHONE HABITS HAVE CHANGED

Lastly, beware of new cell phone habits. For example, he suddenly gets a new phone with a password lock. Or perhaps now he keeps his cell phone in his pocket when in the past he would leave it on the counter. Or maybe he used to make calls and send texts while you were around, but now excuses himself each time the phone rings.

DEALING WITH INFIDELITY

If your suspicions have been confirmed – and it turns out he is (or has been) cheating, we turned to some experts for advice on how to deal. The first step in dealing with infidelity is to recognize whether your relationship should be salvaged, explains relationship expert Dr. Gilda Carle.  “65 percent of unfaithful couples end up remaining together,” she says, adding that with the right help, their relationships can become stronger than they ever were.  But getting there requires commitment and help from a therapist. Though devastating, Carle explains that cheating can actually be a blessing in disguise. “I contend that cheating is the best thing to happen to a shaky relationship because finally, a couple will be shaken enough to decide either to mend their love or end their love,” she says.

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