by Paul Hudson

 …..maybe you will love the life that you created for yourself while your haters stand on the sidelines and gawk in awe and disbelief. You’re not a fortune teller and neither are they. You can take their warnings into consideration in order to better plan for the future and avoid disaster, but you should never allow others to deter you from your goals. 

Sometimes opinions can be helpful. When they are valid or they open your eyes up to possibilities or circumstances that you may have failed to perceive then it pays to listen and take heed. Other times — in fact, most of the time — people are just spewing their negativity at you in order to lessen the pressure. They are venting and you and your success is the only target they see fitting.

It can be difficult to brush off these haters, but unless you do so, you will be dragged down by their inabilities, by their mangled visions of reality. When anyone is getting at you for the simple purpose of attacking you and/or making themselves feel better, then you have one thing that you must do: tell them to f*ck off. Here’s 10 instances:

1. When They Tell You That You Aren’t Smart Enough.

People will take the greatest pleasure in raining on your parade. You tell them your newest dream, your newest obsession, your newest passion or goal and they will undoubtedly tell you you’re not smart enough to accomplish such feats. I mean…you’re no genius. You’re no better than they themselves are…so how dare you attempt to achieve such a success? You’re an idiot — just as they are. Why is it that you feel yourself worthy of achieving so much? You’re not smart enough, they’ll tell you. They’ll place you side by side all the most intelligent geniuses the world has ever seen — as if they are the only ones that have ever accomplished anything worthwhile.

The truth is that intellect is only half the battle. The truth is that no matter what your capabilities at this very moment, as time goes on and you learn to adapt to your new surroundings and learn from your new experiences you will learn all that you need to learn to survive and to flourish in whatever setting. People confuse needing knowledge to succeed with needing the knowledge beforehand; sure, in order to succeed in any field, you do need to have knowledge of the playing field — inside and out.

What they don’t tell you — because they are afraid to admit it to themselves — is that most of what you need to learn in order to succeed, you pick up along the way, not prior to attempting. If they approach you with such concerns, tell them to keep it to themselves. And to f*ck themselves while they’re at it.

2. When They Tell You That You Aren’t Experienced Enough.

You’re attempting to do what? But you have no experience… How…how can you expect to come out of it alive if you haven’t already been doing it for half your life? Everyone will tell you that you need experience. Ever try getting a bartending gig in NYC? Every single bar requires a minimum of “3 years NYC experience.”The question then becomes: how the hell do you get those initial 3 years experience without already having 3 years experience? You can’t. For this reason, when someone tells you that you’re not experienced enough, you should feel free to tell them to eat it.

People are under this false impression that you need to be well trained and experienced before attempting anything worthwhile. When they see you trying to start a company, write a book, produce a track, start on a solo endeavor — whatever — without having a decade of experience under your belt, they will think you foolish and tell you that you should get your head out of the clouds and join them on the ground. F*ck the ground. And f*ck them too. They can wait until experience magically drops into their laps in order for them to start acquiring experience on their own. You…you know better than that. Keep doing what you’re doing.

3. When They Tell You That You Won’t Be Able To Handle It.

How can anyone know what you can or can’t handle better than you can? When people tell you that you won’t be able to handle the workload, that you won’t be able to handle the pressure or keep up with what is expected of you, you should kindly ask them to direct their negativity in another direction. If they won’t budge then tell them where they should stick it. You don’t and won’t know your limits until you push yourself and test them. Maybe you won’t like your new job, maybe you won’t like what you have to give up in order to stay atop the workload — maybe.

Or maybe you will love the life that you created for yourself while your haters stand on the sidelines and gawk in awe and disbelief. You’re not a fortune teller and neither are they. You can take their warnings into consideration in order to better plan for the future and avoid disaster, but you should never allow others to deter you from your goals. If you can’t handle it then you can always decide to opt for a career change or tweak. But at least you did something. That’s already more than they can say.

4. When They Do Their Best To Hold You Down.

You see, the more that people tell you that you can’t and the more you spit in their face with a mouthful of success, the more they will attempt to hold you down — to prove themselves right. People don’t like being proven wrong, so chances are that those that have been telling you that you can’t do something for all those months or years will now have a problem with you doing so well.

People become jealous of success almost instantaneously; we all want the same basic things, so to see someone you know make it while you stay seated at the bottom is uncomfortable to say the least.

It’s backwards thinking, but keeping others down is easier than making it yourself. Success requires creation while holding others down to maintain your social standing amongst your crew is much easier; it’s always easier to destroy than it is to build. Human beings are lazy creatures and more often than not opt for destruction in place of creation. Tell’em to f*ck off. They’re sure to have more than enough stuff to screw up in their own lives; you can’t allow them to make you feel bad about your own victories.

5. When They Say It Can’t Be Done.

You know what couldn’t be done? Flying. Going into space. Warming up a slice of pizza in 60 seconds. Inventing a car that doesn’t need gas. Having multiple orgasms. Everything at one point was considered impossible — until someone managed to pull it off. What right does anyone have to tell you that you’re dreaming too big? What right does anyone have to impose on you the belief that it’s possible to dream ‘too’ big?

If it hasn’t been done, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be done; it simply means that is has yet to be done. People have a tendency of thinking small in order to minimize their rate of failure. The truth is that without failure, you cannot have success. The more you fail, the more ways you know not to do something. Eventually you’ll invent that light bulb… but it may take 10,001 attempts.

6. When They Tell You It’s Not The Way It’s Supposed To Be Done.

Apparently, somewhere out there, there is a set of rules of conduct for success. I’m not sure where this tablet is hidden, but it must exist since everyone will tell you that although what you are trying to do is great, you’re going about it all wrong. What the f*ck? Show me these rules and then I’ll give, otherwise keep your comments to yourself. Do you know who did things differently than the status quo and managed to become extremely successful? Anyone worth remembering.

There is no right way or wrong way to do anything. There may be a better way versus a less effective way — but, in the end, a result is a result. In fact, those that have a tendency to think a bit differently, outside the box if you will, have proven to be most efficient in achieving their goals. There are endless ways to achieve the same end result; who is to say one way is better than the other when the result is exactly the same?

One may take longer than the other, sure — maybe even cost more money. One may be more efficient, but at the end what matters most is what you’ve managed to do, to create. When they are telling you that you’re doing it wrong, f*ck’em. Who’s doing it wrong? You? Who is attempting or them? Who sit on their ass and hand out judgments?

7. When They Try To Jump On The Bandwagon.

Now they’re asking for tickets to the next show? Ah hell no! You For Real?—fellow 80s babies should get that reference. It’s true: people will sh*t on you left and right…until you begin to gain some popularity. Then, then everyone is your best friend. Everyone loves you when the popular thing to do is love you. F*cking assh*les. Where were they when you needed their support? Where were they when you had trouble sleeping, had trouble holding back the tears, contemplated the peacefulness of eternal slumber?

Now that you’re becoming a big shot they all want to hitch their carts to your buggy. Now that they know you are someone worth knowing, they all want to hop into your current and be moved up stream. Don’t pay these scrubs any attention. You made it this far without their help; you’ll make it all the way without them too.

8. When They Tell You They Could Have Done Better.

“Ah, anyone could do that! I could have done it better.” Then why the f*ck didn’t you? Why did you sit there on your ass and allow all of those opportunities to pass you by while you could have “easily” done the same thing that got that one guy famous? Of course these fools were physically capable of achieving what you did…but they didn’t. They didn’t take the risk. They didn’t put in the effort. They didn’t put themselves out there and get ridiculed the way that you did. They can go f*ck themselves.

It’s easy to look back at a distance and say that you could do what that person is doing. However, you don’t know what they went through. You don’t know what it took to get them there. You don’t know what outside factors they had to deal with while simultaneously juggling their careers. You don’t know the whole story; so don’t go around telling people that you could rewrite it with more pizazz and a more colorful ending.

9. When They Blame You For Their Failures.

Before anyone blames themselves for their misery, they will do their best to blame everyone and everything else. They will blame their situation. They will assume that you had it easier. They will assume that you were given a handout. They will assume that if it wasn’t for people like you that have success fall from the sky and into their lives, that they themselves would have been successful. It’s somehow your fault that their life sucks. It’s your fault that they are unhappy. It’s your fault that you are successful and their lives suck. F*ck’em all.

10. When They Fail To Thank You For Your Help.

Then there are those that you will have mentored and helped get to where they are that will forget about you the second they no longer need you for support. This is sadder than anything really. It’s difficult to deal with being underappreciated, but that’s life. Don’t let their actions or lack of get you down or deter you from your goals. If they don’t want you to be part of their life anymore then f*ck’em.

You can always make new friends or find new apprentices. Live your life on your own terms, no one else’s. People can be ridiculously stupid sometimes. They believe that if some things are possible, then others must therefore be impossible. You write your own rules in life and do not have the right to push those rules on anyone else. Live your life to the fullest, on your own terms. F*ck everyone else.

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Read this article in Elite Daily

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.