And when sex becomes such an easy access to both of you, it’s quite obvious that the libidos will fall. And what starts off as once-a-day sex can turn into once-a-month in no time.
A marriage is a happy beginning to many things.
But when it comes to sex, a marriage can do more damage than good.
Of course, the first few months of a marriage after dating each other for years can still be fun.
What with all the role playing of Mr. and Mrs. and calling each the husband and wife.
But once the novelty of a new marriage wears off, so does the sex life.
How to make marriage sex more exciting
When you don’t get too much time with each other, everything you do together can seem so much more valuable.
When both of you are just dating, even spending a few nights together a week can feel special.
But when you get married or start living together, there’s no novelty in together time. Both of you spend all your free time together, and sex, well, that’s available 24/7. And when sex becomes such an easy access to both of you, it’s quite obvious that the libidos will fall. And what starts off as once-a-day sex can turn into once-a-month in no time.
10 things you can do to make marriage sex sexier
A marriage kicks the horniness out of romance. But there are many things you can do to keep the horniness alive and the passion burning.
All you need to do is understand the root cause behind why the sex has started to dwindle, and do something about it. Firstly, don’t forget to work out and look good for each other.
And once you’re done with that, use these 10 tips to make married sex feel like a one night stand!
#1 Go clubbing often. Married sex is boring because it’s easily accessible. So find a way to get forcefully restricted from having sex whenever you feel like it, especially when you’re horny. And what better way than a sexy party where both of you are lost in the midst of sex and booze on the dance floor?
Grind with each other, touch each other and play with each other until both of you feel really horny. You can party, you can touch and you can see, but you can’t do more. By the end of it all, both of you would be so horny you wouldn’t be able to wait until you get home to undress each other.
#2 Go on separate vacations. This isn’t a preparation for divorce. This is a process to help understand your own sexuality and realize how much you want your partner. When both of you are together all the time, it’s easy to take things for granted.
By going away on a separate vacation for a few days with your own friends, it’ll work in two ways. Your lover will be excited to have you back in their arms. And all the flirty attention you’d get when you’re away without your spouse in your arms will make you feel more sexy and confident about yourself.
#3 Sexual role play. Role playing is one of the sexiest things a couple can do. Yes, it’s more elaborate and time consuming because both of you actually have to dress up instead of just getting naked. If you’re tried role playing at any time and haven’t really been turned on, perhaps you’ve picked the wrong costume.
At times, you and your lover may not be truthful enough to speak about outfits that really turn both of you on. Give this a serious thought and dress up for each other. To start off, wear Venetian or masquerade masks while having sex. You’ll understand just how sexy both of you will feel.
#4 Fantasize together. All of us have unfulfilled sexual fantasies. And at times, you meet someone or walk past someone who really turns you on sexually. This is something all of us can relate to. Ever met someone and secretly wished you were single and could make out with this sexy person?
Well, when you’re in a relationship with someone you love, you really can’t stray, can you? Instead of feeling tied down in a relationship or regretting your own love life, talk about other people that excite you in bed with each other.
Yes, this sounds rather risqué and isn’t for the faint hearted. But in a truly understanding relationship, your partner would know that it’s natural to get sexually attracted to someone else now and then. You’re human, after all!
Now you may think this would ruin your relationship, but it can bring both of you closer and help each other understand your sexual sides better, which will prevent sexual frustrations from piling up which can lead to an affair. Talk about another person or create fantasies with your partner that involves another person in your thoughts. Even your partner would be more excited to hear your deepest sexual fantasies.
#5 Explore sex. Even the best of things can get boring when it turns into a routine. Sex too, just like all other exciting things can start to get monotonous after a few years. Don’t let that happen. As soon as you feel like lovemaking is starting to feel like a routine, bring a new twist into the bedroom. Always look for ways to keep sex exciting by trying something new and bolder all the time.
#6 Go out on a date. Meet each other directly at the date. Don’t pick each other up. Meet up at a club and head out to dinner, or do something both of you would like. It’ll remind you of the good old days when both of you would meet each other outside the house.
Want to make it more sexually exciting? Pretend like both of you don’t know each other. Call yourself by some other name that your partner finds sexy, and let your partner do the same. Meet at a club, buy your lover a drink and hit the dance floor. Make up stories about your own lives and have fun indulging in a sexual conversation with a *stranger* while running your hands all over each other.
#7 Book a hotel room. Sometimes, a bit of romance can make married sex feel sexier too. If you’ve got some time off, spend an afternoon or a night in a hotel room. Sleeping in a whole new surrounding can make both of you feel more sexy and give both of you the space to try something kinky like having sex close to an open window!
#8 New spaces. If your kids are away and you have the house to yourself, have sex in places where you couldn’t have sex before. Do it on the couch, the kitchen, or even the bathroom under the shower. If both of you are lacking the passion to do something like this, start off by watching porn while sitting on the couch. It may just help both of you get started.
#9 Go on a sex vacation. Nothing beats a sex vacation to reignite the fire in a flickering sex life. To a newly married couple, all these tips may seem shocking or rather bold. But it takes several years of married life and a depressing sex life to understand just how hard it is to keep the libido on a high for years on end.
Take off for a couple of weeks and head out to a beach destination where you can spend time with each other on isolated spots, indulging in some sexy fun with each other.
#10 Invite another couple. Why have a fun twosome when you can have a wild foursome? No, really, I don’t mean swapping of any kind here. But your sexual life can get a lot better just by involving another couple into your sexual lives. Ever wondered why public display of affection or wearing revealing clothes feels so sexy? Well, that’s because you’re being watched.
Recreate that same experience with another couple and your libido will soar through the roof. Get drunk together, and make out in front of the other couple or indulge in a few kisses or heavy petting. It’ll turn you guys and the other couple on too.
Use these 10 tips to bring the spark and the sexual rush back into the relationship, and make married sex feel like the rush of a horny one night stand!
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.