by Anna Breslaw

 

 

While grabbing a gyro after a night out with the guys, a drunk man decides to hump Land Rover. Fortunately, this produced no half-human, half-SUV children.

 

1. Swedish man attempts to have sex with a hornet’s nest, is stung 146 times (54 of them on his genitals) and reported dead — which turned out to be a hoax. Nevertheless, should have bought them dinner first.

2. While grabbing a gyro after a night out with the guys, a drunk man decides to hump Land Rover. Fortunately, this produced no half-human, half-SUV children.

3. A dude in suburban Ohio is spotted by a neighborhood child getting a little afternoon delight with an inflatable pool raft.

4. It’s just like The Notebook, except Ryan Gosling is an unattractive ex-con and Rachel McAdams is a couch.

5. Texas man is arrested for having sex with a horse for the third time. This time, he claims to be “in love” with the mare. That’s what they all say.

6. Once again, in Sweden — it does make sense that the nation that originated Ikea would be secret sexual deviants — a man is caught on surveillance camera banging a bike. How one actually does this is unclear, but always wear a helmet.

7. It’s not delivery, it’s DiGiorno: A Redditor confesses that he had sex with uncooked pizza dough.

8. A picnic table.

9. …and a park bench!

10. An ambulance.

11. Street signs.

12. Lamp posts.

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