12 things to NEVER say to someone in a long term relationship

by Tess Koman & Kathleen Kamphausen

black_couple2

Is your sex life still as exciting as it used to be? No, because we used to be 20 years old and horny 24/7 and have sex before and after dinner. 

1. When do you think he’s going to propose? On any given day, I am panicking about whether or not I left my straightener on and/or if anyone notices when I text under my desk. I am not worried about when he will or will not ask me to be with him for even longer.

2. Oh, I forgot you’re not married. Me too, sometimes! There’s something comforting about being so comfortable that you forget how long you’ve been together. Don’t look so disappointed! Things are really good!

3. Have you thought about what you’d say if he proposes? Yes. Yes I have.

4. But do you guys ever talk about marriage? Yes! We also talk about work and people we hate and why we are suddenly so gassy. Marriage is on the list of Important Future Things we discuss.

5. When will you have babies? Whenever we want, mom.

6. Why did you move in so quickly/Why haven’t you moved in together yet? Because we wanted/didn’t want to!

7. Do you get sick of each other? Sure. Everyone gets sick of everyone sometimes. But it’s rude to ask.

8. Do you ever run out of things to talk about? See numbers 4 through 7. There are also a lot of episodes of Orange Is the New Black we haven’t discussed yet.

9. Is your sex life still as exciting as it used to be? No, because we used to be 20 years old and horny 24/7 and have sex before and after dinner. All you really need to know is that the sex is good and frequent enough that all parties involved are satisfied.

10. [When out at a bar/socializing alone anywhere] Where IS he? Do you want us to get sick of each other? In order to be a sane S.O., one must spend time by herself/her friends. Also, just because we’re dating doesn’t men I have a constant GPS on him.

11. What’s your secret?! Well, we like each other. And we’re super honest with each other. And we’re nice people.

12. Do you think you’ll be together forever? Yes. Yes, I do.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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