by Hauwa Gambo
1. GEJ will stop making excuses
There’s “I am not a lion”, “I don’t give a damn”, yada yada yada, and the latest “I am slow because I don’t want to make mistakes”. Seriously, GEJ, you talk too much, and our lives are not getting any better for it. Will 2013 be the year when GEJ stops trying to win our pity and finally starts to win our respect? For the sake of our country, we all should say an amen to that.
2. Dbanj and Don Jazzy will make up
Fat chance, but a girl can dream right? Between Dbanj’s steam of mediocre (truly, amazingly) mediocre songs, and the royal mess that was the Mavin debut album, I think we can all just agree that D’banj and Don Jazzy were perfect together. They made such a royally beautiful team that their coming together would not just be great for them, but will also be excellent for their industry. So I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for that.
3. Obiageli Ezekwesili will declare for President
Nigeria is full of very many questionable characters. In that atmosphere, Ezekwesili is the rare case of a leader over whom you can point to no apparent blemishes. We are yet to find any universally desirable option to tackle the PDP’s sure Jonathan presentation in 2015. Well, here’s a female, who is popular, well connected across the country, with an international profile, a network of business friends, and goodwill with the youth population. How long before the drafting begins?
4. The CC Hub will deliver the next Facebook (we’ll even take Pinterest)
We are in love with the Co-Creation Hub, providing a very useful havens for geeks and entrepreneurs. And they’ve given us some excellent results – the constitution app and BudgIT for two. But this year, we really hope someone steps it up. There is presumably a large pool of technology talent in Nigeria- well when will this talent transform into pure gold? We say the coming year, come on guys.
5. There will be no plane crashes
A Dana aircraft has gone down, a Nigerian plane gone down in Abuja, a sitting governor down in his own plane, and another governor in a Navy helicopter. I suspect we can all agree that Nigeria has gotten more than its fair share of air disasters, yes? May we see these tragedies no more in the coming year and forever. Amen.
6. The Benin-Ore road will be repaired
There is a jinx on that Bermuda Triangle of a road, yes we all know, but those who have passed the road recently report that post-BiCourtney, things seem to finally be getting better. Will this be the year that the road is finally repaired and it stops consuming souls unnecessariky? We can’t say amen enough to that.
7. The ACN, CPC and ANPP will merge – finally
Everyone knows that unless opposition political parties get their act together and form a formidable alternative to the PDP, the ruling party will spend another four years as the government at the centre and with the majority in the legislature and across the states. So we can’t afford for them fumble once more with their new merger talks. This is the year went deal should sealed, if ever. 2015 is two years away.
8. ‘Half of a Yellow Sun’ will be a fantastic movie
The book was excellent, Chimamanda Adichie is a national treasure, and Muhtar Bakare led a posse including Chinwetel Ejiofo, Thandie Newton, Genevieve Nnaji and others to Tinapa for many weeks to shoot the long-awaited movie. It will be hitting the screens in 2013, and we really can’t wait. So we are very hopeful that this will be an excellent outing.
9. There will be no further Twilight sequels
No chance of this, but I just want to make sure. For the post-teenage rest of us, the latest Twilight sequel was less execrable than the rest, but it doesn’t mean we want to see it again, and not just because we don’t like Kristen Stewart that much anymore. It’s just that, you know, that movie just keeps finding ways to make us feel even dumber every time we watch it. Yes guys, you’ve had a good run. Now step into the darkness and keep walking.
10. Funmi Iyanda will return to television
Tomorrow, she will be hosting another edition of her special New Year show, but no Ms. Iyanda, that will not be good enough. We want you back on television. You were iconic, and brilliant and a breath of fresh air, and it’s a tragedy that you have no show on television presently. That’s just a shame. Will 2013 see you recover? We are waiting.
11. Boko Haram will just… Go away
All we should say to this is yes and amen.
12. 24 hour electricity for everybody!
Yes and amen. Amen. Oh, yes and amen.