by Julia Melko

A relationship with a married man can bring real problems into your life. It can cause work problem or even ruin your carrier entirely if relations are with your boss or colleague. Not to mention bad reputation.

This kind of relations may be fun but are they worth all the damage they can cause to your life? I would not call it the worst thing ever, but you need to think carefully whether you really want it.

1. Get to know him better

There is such kind of men who will try to make relations even if they are married, usually, with the help of lies about unhappy marriage. You must understand that nothing will make them divorce, and even if they do, will it be possible for you to trust them? Don’t answer their “feelings”, and they might just switch to another woman and let you see who they really are.

2. Don’t dramatize the situation

This kind of relations happens in life quite often so there is no need to feel like your life is over. But it is not a Romeo and Juliet kind of forbidden love as well, and it is better to see the reality as it is. Try to amuse yourself, go out, meet different people and you might find just the right bachelor to match your idea of a perfect man.

3. Look on the bright side of the situation

You found an ideal man you always dreamt of, but unfortunately he is not single already. It makes you want to cry, but look on the bright side of the situation. Now you know what your man must be like. It is not the best easement, but it may help a little.

4. Don’t become “The Other Woman”

Sometimes you can find a guy who publicly acknowledges his marriage as fail, but don’t let him make you play along as you soon will find yourself accused in all the problems of his marriage and even got a reputation as a homewrecker. Just wait for him to settle his problems without you, and it might be of use.

5. He’s not an ideal man

You may think he is a prince Charming, but do you really know him that good? Everyone wants to make a good impression on the one he likes and this might be just the case. He may have habits you will not like when you get to know him better. You may find that any other guy is better, this one just unreachable what makes him more interesting to get. So why risk if you don’t even have an opportunity to know him good enough and can turn your attention to more suitable candidates?

6. Avoid intimate communication

Overly intimate communication is not the best thing you need. It can cause you unnecessary troubles and entangled situations. It usually looks as if you are doing nothing bad but don’t let him think you will do anything for him. It will be better for you and can make him respect you even more. Or perhaps, it can make him find another woman to cheat his wife with.

7. Look for a reason

If you fancy a married guy it is not a big problem, unless it is become a habit. But if it happens all the time you need to think of reasons of it. Why do you prefer married ones? Is it because of competition or do you need to prove something? Or, you just don’t want stable relations, and marriage of your men makes it easier?

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija