by Sasha Brown-Worsham

No man should ever hit a woman. Of course, physical abuse isn’t the only kind of abuse, but people in love typically don’t abuse one another.

For most people, getting married is a forever kind of thing. No one ever vows “’till death do us part” with the intention of only being together for a short while. But the reality is, sometimes life intrudes and things happen and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce.

We read a lot about dating dealbreakers and reasons a person might break up with a boyfriend, but there are very few marriage dealbreakers. After all, one person might be willing to put up with something that had caused another person to leave months before. Debt is one of those things. But there are others, too.

Here are 7 marriage dealbreakers that have caused many a divorce for all the right reasons:

Drinking: There is drinking and then there is DRINKING. Having spent a fair amount of my early adulthood with a man who drank too much, I know what it’s like to watch one beer turn into eight and not know when he was going to stop. I know what it’s like to constantly hear he’s done drinking only to watch him get drunk again that night. At a certain point, I would never blame anyone for throwing in the towel on this kind of marriage.

Smoking: Cigarettes may be a compromise, though honestly, I can’t imagine wanting to kiss someone who smelled like butts. But there are other things that people smoke and pot heads don’t always make the best hubbies. What was cute at 21 isn’t so adorable at 35.

Gambling: This is an addiction like any other. If a person doesn’t want to get help, then sometimes it may be best to end it before debt, fighting, and financial ruin take it down anyway.

Overspending: This is a big one. No one wants to be with someone who can’t stop shopping. Finances are the number one cause of divorce for many people and who can blame them? His credit could ruin yours.

Cheating More Than Once: This one is obvious. Maybe it could be forgiven in certain circumstances, but not more than once.

Abuse: This one is obvious too, but a lot of people miss it. If he hits you one time, leave. Period. End of story. No man should ever hit a woman. Of course, physical abuse isn’t the only kind of abuse, but people in love typically don’t abuse one another. If they do, it’s not love.

Unwillingness to Work on Things: The reality is, most of these things CAN be fixed, assuming both sides admit there is a problem. Barring that, marriages will fail. There has to be a willingness to work on what needs to be worked on.

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Read this article in The Stir

 

 

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