by Julia Austin

 

 

Women are supposed to aspire to make lots of money but we’re not supposed to cherish nice things. We’re seen as superficial if we spend our savings on a designer bag, and we’re seen as silly if we’ll wait for hours outside a store before they release a limited edition dress.

 

No matter how far we’ve come, women will always feel a little (if not a lot!) pressured by society to want certain things, like certain things, condone certain things, disapprove of certain things…you name it. And as the social climate has it today, a lot of women are ashamed to admit the following things, but they shouldn’t be!

YOU WOULD PUT YOUR FAMILY FIRST

Today, unfortunately, women can be viewed as “weak” or outdated in their ideas if they would be willing to put their career aside to have a family. We’re expected to somehow still go on about our careers at full force, attending every networking event and chasing every promotion, all while making time for our families. But some women don’t want work to interfere with their family life, and would put it on the back burner.

WHY THAT’S OKAY

The mentality that work should take zero hits for the sake of the family is so backwards. People forget that the reason we work is to establish a stable life from which we can enjoy relationships. So why wouldn’t you put your job on the backburner if you already have that thing we work for so hard—love, family, and solid relationships? Nobody should fault you for wanting to prioritize your family.

YOU DON’T WANT A FAMILY

Maybe you don’t want kids at all! Today, people might tell you that you’re “selfish” for that. They might tell you that you should want to work late hours and then go home to spend five more hours cleaning up after children and disciplining them. But maybe you don’t want that.

WHY IT’S OKAY

Only you can say how valuable anything is to you. If having children isn’t valuable enough to you to be tired all of the time, that doesn’t make you a monster! Oh and there is that whole overpopulation issue so, there is really nothing selfish about you not wanting to put one more person out there who will be using resources.

YOU DON’T WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT

When your friends start swapping dieting tips at lunch and counting the calories in what they’re ordering, you’re supposed to be interested…right? You’re supposed to contribute to the conversation…right? You’re supposed to be grateful for the tips…right? WRONG! Maybe you just don’t care.

WHY IT’S OKAY

Not only would it be okay, it would be great if you spoke up and said to your friends, “Hey, can we keep the body image and dieting talk off the table today? You can all read about that on your own time but some of us don’t need insecurities and worries put in our heads that weren’t there in the first place.”

YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT BEAUTY TRENDS

New contouring tips, lace-front eyebrows(sigh), the most slimming cut of pants…you’re supposed to jump all over these topics right? Nope.

WHY IT’S OKAY

You don’t get to see your friends that often if you’re a busy woman. When you get together, if you’d rather spend your precious time talking about real issues like how your relationships are going, or what your dreams and goals are, or even just planning a girls getaway together, that’s fine. In fact, that’s great. Either way, it’s always okay to be the one who puts the breaks on the “Here is how we should all be trying to look better” talk.

YOU WANT FINANCIAL HELP

Today, if a woman isn’t aspiring to make so much money that she would be able to put herself up at the Four Seasons for a month, she is “backwards.” We’re not supposed to accept gifts from men and we’re certainly not supposed to accept help…right? Please.

WHY IT’S OKAY

There is a difference between looking to be a kept housewife and just looking to get some help! Why wouldn’t you want to meet someone who could split the cost with you on your dream house, instead of you being stuck in a tiny apartment forever? Why wouldn’t you want to meet someone who can chip in on vacations? Life is cheaper when you share the expenses with somebody else! It’s okay to want that.

WE LIKE A SIMPLE LIFE

Both men and women face the pressure to want a luxurious life. As a society, we think it’s the norm to have two extra bedrooms in your home. We think shopping is a “hobby.” And if someone isn’t interested in having that, they’re immediately seen as unambitious. Or weird.

WHY IT’S OKAY

If you are someone who can truly be happy with a simple life, you’re light years ahead of everyone else in finding happiness. Your friends won’t be laughing at you when you have a ton of money saved up because you didn’t splurge for the two extra bedrooms, and you can afford to travel.

WE LIKE NICE THINGS

Society just doesn’t know what it wants from us! Women are supposed to aspire to make lots of money but we’re not supposed to cherish nice things. We’re seen as superficial if we spend our savings on a designer bag, and we’re seen as silly if we’ll wait for hours outside a store before they release a limited edition dress.

WHY IT’S OKAY

You’re allowed to want to treat yourself! You can have a special love for a Louis Vuitton bag and still be a practical, down to earth person. For all people know, you spend $500 on a bag but you also donated $500 to a charity last month. It doesn’t matter what people think your priorities are based on purchases you make: you know what your priorities are.

HOW MANY PEOPLE WE’VE SLEPT WITH

Women are judged so much based on how many people we’ve slept with. Decisions are made about our character because of that number. Maybe good decisions, maybe bad ones. If we have a high number we could be seen as slutty, or we could be seen as fun, wild and crazy. If it’s low, we could be seen as a prude, or we could be seen as good and pure. No matter what people think, they’ll think something when they know your number. But maybe you don’t attach any importance to your number.

WHY IT’S OKAY

How is our number still important at all?! Sex means something different to everyone. Some women have a low number because they just have a low sex drive! Or had a boyfriend for seven years! Or are insecure about something in the bedroom. Some women have a high number because, hey, they enjoy sex. But, if they met the right guy, they’d be happy to settle down. These examples could go on and on because your number says nothing about who you are.

——————————–

Read more in Madame Noire

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.