A solo Valentine’s Day love affair

In my drunken state of self-pity I yet again choose to cower in fear of this unknown love life of mine.
At twenty-nine I choose to hide the fact that the world has slipped through my fingers and my eyes have been so blind to my loneliness.
But yet again why do I question the concept of loneliness when I have a million people around me?
They are all here indeed yet none see me, “Do you see me?” I wonder.

I feel I’ve neglected myself in my never-ending search for love.
I feel like I’ve suffered a fate only I could have conjured up.
I’ve been mute to my unrhythymic heart that has been caged up in the hard ribs created solely for the purpose to imprison its hostage.
I’ve been a lost cause for years and yet only I refused to see it.

They tell me I’m lost and hopeless, without words, yes, but the eyes say so much more.
I’ve been meaning to tell you that I need you yet you choose to ignore my silent plea.
I’m not much for words but actions do speak louder, do you not agree?

If I smile your way and you ignore, whose fault is that? I’d like to ask.
If I walk past you three times in a minute, do you even wonder why?
If I stare at you and then look the other way when caught, do I look creepy?
If my signs of interest are weird to you then I choose my gospel of self-pity.

Fill my belly up with cake and ice-cream on that special day.
Send myself chocolate and flowers on my loveless valentine day.
Write myself a lovely card and smile at all the amazing things I write to me, am I creeping you out?
Laugh or Cry, I choose not but I’d smile on my valentine day.

If asked who sent them I’d smile and say…
“It’s just this special person who I’ve realized I love,” I’d say.
For I’m having my very own love affair on this beautiful valentine day.

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cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail