by Adaobi Okwy
Let’s back up now men shall we? When you say you want women like your mothers…I think of my own mother. She is wonderful…for MY mother but, I wouldn’t for the life of me want her as my soulmate. She tells me what to do, what she thinks is best for me. She makes food that I must eat- whether it’s my favourite or not and sometimes, her goodness can be overwhelmingly intrusive to me.
I was reading through Facebook last week when I came across a guy’s status update: “Why can’t Nigerian girls be like their mothers?” This reminded me of another guy’s update I saw previously, “I want a woman who behaves like my mother” and another, “If my mother doesn’t approve of you, you cannot be my wifie” and another, “No woman can ever replace my mother”.
I decided to ask around and to my surprise, I got responses from guys saying that today’s woman is worse because they aren’t anything like their mothers…honestly guys, ever heard of Oedipus/Electra complexes? Well, ask Sigmund Freud and look at recent papers on the subject for further enlightenment.
But then, I deviate from the angle I was looking at this from…wanting a woman like your mother? One who cooks well and has food on the table WHENEVER you are hungry? One who shuts the hell up while you vent from here to Jamaica and calls you Lord for every decision you make- whether it pans out well or not?
It would be crude and very backwards thinking for women to not follow the natural evolutionary processes of nature evident in everyday life. Today’s woman is more enlightened. Today’s woman works harder than at any other time in history (check job hours, military services, political life etc) and for the most part, many of them balance this out with their home lives. The catch being that, dinner may not be ready at seven-thirty sharp and she would of course, complain of fatigue and ask for her husband’s help more. In fact, for some women, a husband’s love is tied to how much he around the house. Today’s woman too, has friends, associations, and hobbies that do not revolve around her husband, kids and home life for the most part.
Is that all that is so threatening to the men of today that they want back their mothers? I certainly do not want a man like my father…one is enough. How men want to live with their mothers…yuck!
Let’s back up now men shall we? When you say you want women like your mothers…I think of my own mother. She is wonderful…for MY mother but, I wouldn’t for the life of me want her as my soulmate. She tells me what to do, what she thinks is best for me. She makes food that I must eat- whether it’s my favourite or not and sometimes, her goodness can be overwhelmingly intrusive to me. My brothers feel same way too as sometimes you hear them say, “mummy, thank you but please, back off!”. Are we and others like that that peculiar that the men of today are crying for their mothers or are these men still growing up?
What do you think about this?
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.
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