Asiwaju Kehinde: Why I want a sugar mummy (30 Days, 30 Voices)

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I want someone older than me that actually has some experience and will give me inspiration and ideas, not the one to distract me from my own thinking.

I want a sugar mommy (not the Patience Ozokwor-type, the older-than-me-by-maximum of 10 years-MILF-types).

Not for the immoral reasons that come to your mind; a perfectly logical, rational, and justified reason. I will educate you shortly.

I want to wake up in the morning to a text message of someone clearly and un-shyly declaring love and desire for you. A message that brings all the blood to my cheeks and rushes down to my loins. I want to get out of bed and meet breakfast – my favourite meal that I didn’t have to beg for. Somebody that I can nag to (yes, I like nagging just as much as a girl) and she nods and offers few, meaningful replies.

I want someone older than me that actually has some experience and will give me inspiration and ideas, not the one to distract me from my own thinking.

I want someone to surprise me. A surprise trip to somewhere fun; and no, it doesn’t have to be a shopping trip. Someone who can actually give ideas and not one that will dictate places and offers unwanted and highly subjective opinions.

Who will take me out and let me actually offer to pay (well, pretend to want to pay), and let our argument be why I wanted to pay not why I didn’t allow her eat as she wanted or take away food.

“Let me drive” is what I want to hear. Nobody offers to be allowed to drive in my place. All the girls I know sit down like they own the ride and sleep. Let it be my pleasure to drive and not my punishment.

Someone to make me feel like Robin, instead of Batman.

I want someone who will have freaking sex when she wants (trust, I’ll be ready) not me begging for kiss (from my own girlfriend oh). Someone always willing to try something new – okay, I know not all sugar mummies will be willing.

I want someone that doesn’t care about how much I earn, how much I want to spend, how much I have left; just someone that lets my money be my money. And someone who actually cares about me being comfortable.

Instead, I’ve got a girlfriend whose idea of romance is me doing houseboy work (me cooking and  bringing breakfast for you in bed all the time -wetin?!), a girlfriend who wants my debit card PIN and freedom to hold my debit cards (I’m not sure she even owns a bank account), a girlfriend that would rather me be a eunuch than be myself which is a raging stallion, full of blood and passion, and one that would drop me the minute I say I need her help.

So there, I hope I have convinced and not confused you about the importance of a sugar mommy.

Thank you.

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

 

 


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Comments

  • As in! I don’t have words for you, SMH.
    On 2nd thoughts, I do. Most of the things you want, a regular girl can do, regular being your age or younger(slightly, of course), apparently, you’ve been doing the wrong (read wack) girls. #okbye

    JO! July 29, 2012 6:37 pm
  • U r a loser. U think an older woman will look at u as doing her a favor and end up cleaning ur ass.
    In all ur wish, I neva saw what u will do for the woman

    UnodeyShm July 30, 2012 5:55 am
  • Nice write up! U don’t necessarily need a sugar mommy… There are young girls who would do this but they are very few!

    Lysa July 30, 2012 8:33 am
  • Nice article…I think the experience might be worth it…not that I want one though… (hypocrite like me)

    Kenis July 30, 2012 3:06 pm
  • Must have been written by a young and immature person. If you think you want to be a writer, write in a diary. Was not intelligently written

    Rose July 30, 2012 5:39 pm
  • Lmfao, the writer must be a broke ass

    christopher July 30, 2012 5:42 pm
  • Is it the situation of the country that made us uptight and humour-less? There is this thing called tongue-in-cheek. Let’s relax and laugh a little. This piece sound like something I would have written. I love it!

    @thejidetaiwo July 30, 2012 7:42 pm
  • Awwwwww, baby wants his mammy, awww so sweet.

    levite July 30, 2012 8:49 pm
  • Lmaooo! Hilarious piece. Nicely written. N to all those of u who hv probs wv t, pls stp bein so sensitive n learn to c d funny side of fngs. He isn’t a broke-ass, he ws jes expressing his tots. Dnt critisize smefn u cnt do!

    Mayowa July 31, 2012 2:11 pm
    • yeah at least he is been nice so women what a you waiting for

      nhojwesh August 21, 2012 9:12 am
  • I need a sexy sugar mumy rich

    Murphy November 1, 2012 5:28 pm
  • Looking for beautiful lady tha older than me to take care of me so that iwill be good in bed!

    Adamu waptang November 8, 2012 12:36 am
  • I want someone who has experince more than me and can give it out to me

    Emmanuel November 24, 2012 2:17 am
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