by Ayorinsola Obisanya

 

I have always thought of catching a new babe on campus since the ‘stalites’ are getting old and ugly everyday. At least, one new babe, without doing ‘aseju’. Seeing these same old faces makes me feel nauseated. The only interesting thing about these old cargo, is the perfume they spray like morgue technicians. Good news though, we’re now in “fresher season” – eran tutu. The new jambite babes are still fresh and hot. The hot campus sun hasn’t blackened their skin, and they still posses the innocence of the “un-sullied”.

I woke up this morning, dressed in my scintillating white and black attire (a new starched shirt with a pair of pants) and boarded a bus going to campus. As I waited for the bus to get full, I glanced through pages of the constitution, so the other passengers know that I’m a bona-fide law student.

Just as I was settling into the seat and getting cozy, the tantalizing whiff of cologne made in heaven and bottled in the clouds, wafted into my nostrils. I had to keep my carefully arranged composure, so I pretended nobody was beside me – for awhile. But mehn the babe (it had to be a babe) was smelling too-good-to-be-true! I could barely hold myself anymore. I started throwing furtive glances her way. Behold, she was one of the Jonny just comes.  Jackpot!

I looked at her beautiful face. Walahi, she should be the next campus queen. Her hair made me shiver and my handkerchief became wet as I wiped my face every now and then. Chai, there is God o.

She pampered her registration files and looked everywhere like a girl who was lost. Me? I began practicing pickup lines. “Hello baby, God must be missing an angel in heaven since you’re sited here?” Too corny. “Ok, maybe I should just say ‘hi’?” For the life of me though, I couldn’t seem to utter a word. My mouth kept opening and closing, without uttering any words of meaning, like I was some marooned gold fish, gasping for air.

‘E bo sile na’. ‘Abi e fe pada lo si garage ni?’ the driver accused us as he wondered why we refused to get off the bus, even though we were now on campus. How come we got to school so quickly? I thought to myself.

I felt embarrassed and the thought of losing this damsel to my temporary palsy of the mouth, was beginning to overwhelm me. I hadn’t even gotten her phone number.

As we alighted from the bus, she there stood looking lost.  She then walked towards me and asked where the hall for her lecture was located. Wow; another opportunity for me! We started talking as we walked. She told me she was a law student in need of Upper year classman, who could guide her academically and be her friend.

“Look no further, I am he”, I said with a smile. “If Mohammed refuses to go to the mountain, the mountain will go to Mohammed”. Excited with Jesus-joy at the beautiful hand that fate had just dealt me, I took her hand and led her to the lecture theatre.

 

Damn! Its 7:30am and I am still on the bed dreaming. I am so late for Professor Rotinwa’s 8:00am test. Chai; I’m done for!

 

Ayorinsola Obisanya is a Law Student of OOU. He communicates via

Website: www.discusszone.org

Twitter: @Fabobisanya

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