#BelieveItOrNot: My husband and I agreed to have sex with strangers – Woman reveals

by Tutu Akinlabi

File photo
File photo

A woman has spoken out about how herself and her husband of 7 years enjoy a marriage that is very different from many others.

The woman, who chose to stay anonymous, wrote about this on Redbook.com where she added that infidelity had actually made her marriage stronger.

The 40-year-old woman has two young sons, one 2 and one 4, from her union with a man she calls Dave.

She said:

‘There’s something magical about being out with a man who’s not my husband,’ she explained. ‘Just call it the secret spark that keeps my marriage alive.’

 ‘My marriage is opaque. I recognize what Frank and Claire Underwood have in House of Cards, although I like to think my husband and I aren’t as soulless as their characters.

‘But there are similarities: We know the other has secrets, but we don’t care to find out more. It’s an attitude people think of as very French – the idea that you can have an affair and a healthy marriage.’

Daily Mail reports:

She explains that since they first started dating, both she and Dave have had a tendency to cheat on each other, which initially prompted screaming matches.

Ultimately, though, they decided the only way to make their relationship work was to acknowledge and accept this seemingly inevitable part of their lives. ‘What if we both admitted that, yes, we were sometimes tempted, and that sometimes we acted on that temptation?’ she writes.

One night, they talked it over and agreed to turn a blind eye to each other’s dalliances, reaffirming their love for each other and promising that that would never change. Thus they embarked on a very unconventional marriage, with both parties free to sleep with other people.

She would strike up affairs with friends of friends, old flames and men she met while traveling for work, keeping her wedding ring on throughout so that her marriage was never a secret. ‘What if we both admitted that, yes, we were sometimes tempted, and that sometimes we acted on that temptation?’

‘We love each other,’ explains the writer. ‘We also seriously like other people.’ While she admits that the arrangement gets less and less sustainable as they – and their children –  get older, still she insists it’s a way of life that has been good for their marriage overall.

‘The affairs aren’t my real life,’ she explains. ‘They’re fancy cocktails and tiny plates and falling asleep without the whooshing sound of a baby monitor.’Explaining that she has yet to say ‘I love you’ to any man but her husband, she concluded: ‘And they make me that much happier for the family I do have.’

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