by Anino Odeli

 

 This thing called death, I hate you. I have always hated you.

I blog from a sad place today.

I don’t care what I write or how I write it. I don’t even care if there are errors right now. I just need to put words down. I need to let out some of this emotion that is choking me. I feel pain, I hate pain.

Last time I felt this kind of pain was the 1st of July 2009; and it hurt me. I am yet to recover from that pain. I don’t know how to scream out, maybe if I screamed will it help? 

My friend, cousin and bros Oghene Kevwe passed this morning. Bros K as I fondly call him was said to have slumped and died.

Slumped and died?

 How does a 26-year-old just slump and die? What happened? Was he ill, did he have a heart condition or something? What makes one just slump and die, what made my own Bros K slump and die? I’ve got too many questions but very little answers. 

I am still in the process of digesting the news that Ofeoritse’s mum had an accident yesterday and I don’t have any knowledge about her condition yet. Is she alive or has she passed? Is she conscious or not? Just too many questions and I can’t find answers. I need answers. 

This thing called death, I hate you. I have always hated you. You have taken too many precious people away from me, why? You have ruined what was almost a good year. I hate you for this pain you bring when you come around families. I hate you. 

I know as a Christian, I am not supposed to question or curse out when someone passes but sorry God, you see the pain I feel; it hurts like hell. People think I am tough, I am butch, yes perhaps I am; but right now, I need God, someone or something to take this pain away.

Look at me talking about the pain of losing my friend, what of his Mother’s pain? I wonder what could be going through her head now or my 3 younger cousins who I pray are not orphans as I type this.

*wipes tears*

Perhaps I need to ‘Man up’ for my cousins. I need to find the strength to be strong for his mum, his uncle and aunty for this cup must pass.