Yes it did but of course not literally or in the movie. When I first saw the preview of the movie, Columbiana, I was a tad skeptical about how that would turn out starting with the fact that Zoe Saldana (Cataleya) wasn’t exactly my favourite actress, second the story line didn’t leave much for the mind to wonder and so I resorted to watching it on my Phone instead, though curious to know if my scepticism would be proved right. Unfortunately for me but fortunately for the movie, they were proved wrong.
In the action film Colombiana, Zoe Saldana plays Cataleya, a young woman who has grown up to be an assassin after witnessing the murder of her parents as a child. The killing began in Bogota, when Cataleya (Saldana) is just a 10-year-old schoolgirl doing homework at the kitchen table, when thugs sent by the local drug lord gun down her parents in front of her. I was particularly intrigued by the scene where she had to race, rolls and bounds over, around and through tightly stacked hillside houses and serpentine alleyways to escape the killers after having stabbed the leader of the mob in the palm, all the while, Her passport to safety — Chicago and her uncle — a microchip she swallowed. The young cateleya moved so swiftly you’d think she’s been in the game in her actual life.
Turning herself into a professional killer and working for her uncle, she remained focused on her ultimate goal: to hunt down and get revenge on the mobster responsible for her parents’ deaths and which she did eventually even though she was betrayed by love.
Whether it’s a nod to the director’s artistic leanings, the image of the orchid she’s named for — (cattleya, for the horticulturist purists out there) — becomes her signature, inked onto the bodies of her victims. It helps knit the plot together, with the pattern attracting the attention of a persistent FBI agent played by Lennie James, the Colombian drug lord Don Luis (Beto Benites), his No. 2 Marco (Jordi Mollà) and the sleazy CIA agent (Callum Blue) who helped relocate Don Luis and his cronies under some kind of off-the-books witness protection scam to New Orleans.
Every scene brings about an adrenaline rush that would warrant you to be in a cinema room, eating popcorn while your eyes are glued to the screen. My curiosity though led me to watch it, not even on my laptop, but on my phone and now I’m regretting all those goose-pimple moments I had just watching it on a little screen when I could have been watching it on a bigger one. Curiosity killed Columbiana for me. And I can only hope it doesn’t for you.
Advice: it’s not a laptop movie.