If it’s not like the movies
That’s how it should be
When he’s the one, i’ll come undone
And my world will stop spinning
And that’s just the beginning
So Katy Perry sings in the chorus of the song, Not like the movies which appears in her platinum selling Teenage Dream album. The slow, wistful number tells of a girl who insists on finding true love exactly the way it happens in the movies: you know the feet-popping, thunder-clapping, ever-ever- after kind of love that Hollywood (and Nollywood) sells to us on a daily basis. The poor child even discards potential suitors simply because the ring did not fit. You know when you know, she insists. Well I don’t know.
Poor Katy, you’d think that after kissing a girl and liking it, she’d be more sensible, more realistic but no, she insisted on trying. She met the Englishman Russel Brand, a comedian and actor and fell hopelessly in love.He loved her right back, he claimed but some folks insisted she was just his ticket to conquering America. Again, I don’t know.
What i do know is what they both presented to us, the gaping public. The public declarations of love, the barf- inducing display of affection, an over the top wedding ceremony in far away India and the fleeting appearance of her name on his contact list as he scrolled down his phone in the movie, Arthur. And not forgetting her Grammy Awards ‘special’ where she performed Not like the movies,(surprise) with slide shows of their fabulous wedding (complete with a live elephant) playing in the background. How sweet.
But it wasn’t like the movies, not really. Fourteen months after, (an eternity by Hollywood standards), especially in these days of unions lasting 72days(#thankyouverymuch Kim Kardashian), they were spending most of the xmas holidays separately and were both spotted without their wedding rings, prompting rumors of a split.
The rumors were confirmed last night when Mr Brand filed for divorce, citing the much abused ‘Irreconcilable differences’- which in reality may mean anything from infidelity to I-can’t-stand-your-sorry-ass-anymore. Not exactly the plot for a Julia Roberts movie.
In the end, it wasn’t like the movie Katy Perry expected but it was still like a movie in some ways. Cinematic and dramatic, but without the perfect ending. Just like that tv movie starring Kim Kardashian.
Oh! wait, that wasn’t a movie? Yes i recall, it was reality. Reality TV.