by Cheta Nwanze

Forgive my cynicism, but if a probable rapist, who spent N2000 as was reported in some quarters, to have “free” sex for 22 days decides that N50 millions is a better deal, will he then be prosecuted?….

Government parrots are a very interesting breed. It looks like the prerequisite for being one is to have rose tinted goggles. This, helps you ignore large numbers of people who, are voting with their feet. So when, oh when, in this era of government bashing, will we have the courage to question the unquestioned answers?

One of such unquestioned answers, is how come Nigeria, the nominal giant of Africa, has a large number of her citizens high-tailing it to Cameroon? For them it’s a choice of two miseries, #BokoHaram on one hand, or Paul Biya on the other. Like any right thinking person, these chappies took a look at the 100 fresh corpses, and decided that being unable to vote under Biya, is far better option, than being a statistic in Nigeria’s seemingly unending insurgency.

Speaking of statistics, the number count of countries queuing almost desperately to learn how to speak Kanuri is growing. Fresh from holding hands with the Prez at the World Economic Jamboree, Chinese suit Li Keqiang told us that their satellites will be taking a closer look at the terrain to see if there are any missing girls. “We will make any useful information acquired by our satellites and intelligence services available to Nigeria’s security agencies,” Keqiang shrilled, while in geostationary orbit, Nigeria’s own satellite snapped happily away, pictures of Auckland, New Zealand.

But it’s not all ironic news. Twenty two days after the Chibok maidens disappeared, the men-in-black have finally been roused to look into their piggy bank and offer up N50 millions for information leading to their recovery. Forgive my cynicism, but if a probable rapist, who spent N2000 as was reported in some quarters, to have “free” sex for 22 days decides that N50 millions is a better deal, will he then be prosecuted? My best bet is that we will, err, forgive him. Meanwhile another slow acting body proves its nickname right. Now Your Suffering Continues has still not gotten round to having an enabling law in place to prevent deployment of young Nigerians to the stricken states! There is God o!

Bits and Bobs

Ten years after we exited the Paris Club, we’ve apparently gotten a brand new membership card. For the records, debt is not necessarily a bad thing, but in a previous morning tonic, just shy of two years ago now, I did express worry about what our debt is being accumulated for.

Speaking of debt, it appears that the friendly chaps at the World Bank are going to pile a bit more on us. We will pay for it, according to the DISCOs. I say “ba wahala” provided una gif me light. I don tire.

Nigerians take their Bibles too seriously. Especially the lessons set down in passages such as Exodus 22:18. Yesterday we talked about an unfortunate woman forced out of the mortal coil in Abule-Egba. Today, we have to talk about an unfortunate man, given the same treatment, just down the road. God rest the dead.

Finally, those of you who try to politicise the Chibok kidnap. Or try to shift blame. I have a question for you: did the APC or one of Goodluck Jonathan’s “political enemies” pay this woman to take this photo?

Right of Reply

Richard Chilee wrote,

I agree with what you wrote about Nigeria’s indifference towards our Soldiers and families..

I just interviewed a Nigerian soldier, whose boots and uniforms have seen the light of beautiful days, about their ineptitude to tackle the menace of Boko Haram, and he revealed some shocking news to me..

Friends, do you know that many Nigerian soldiers buy their own uniforms? Do you know that there are NO incentives to work? Do you know that when a soldier dies in active service, the families are NOT taken care of by the Nigerian Government? Do you know that many soldiers that were involved in the fight against Boko Haram from the beginning have been sacked by the Ogas at the top? The list is endless.. He even told me a story of a colleague that was booted out of the Army barracks, without pay, because he was bedridden from gunshots sustained during a fight against Boko Haram.

The soldier looked at me squarely, and said, with raw anger raging from his deep voice, “I will NEVER bother myself for a country that does NOT care about me and my family. Boko Haram will NOT stop until the Nigerian government takes the measures it should take..” He paused, clutched his old, rugged and unoiled AK-47 rifle, and, briskly, swaggered into the quiet street. The sound of Celine Dion’s music, mired in the smell of fried egg and Indomie noodles, echoed from a distance.
I left heartbroken…

Chxta responds,

In August of 2013, Sylvester Awenlimobor, visited Yobe state following the Mamudo massacre. During his visit, he interviewed a few soldiers. We talked about it in the last morning tonic before this service took its temporary hiatus. That story is now recorded here for posterity.

Why do you think I am so angry at hypocrites telling us to “support our troops”? I dearly want to support our soldiers, God knows I do. But the first line of support has to come from the government that sent them there on my behalf.

Despite all we have been told to the contrary, stories keep emerging of how the government has let down our troops, and badly so too. And when that government fails to do what needs to be done, why should anyone be surprised if the soldiers sell their weapons to #BokoHaram?

The vehicle which Abubakar Shekau had in the background of his latest video, is an Otokar Cobra, which Nigeria has deployed against #BokoHaram. The only countries which operate these vehicles are Azerbaijan, Algeria, Bangladesh, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Kosovo, Maldives, Macedonia, Nigeria, Pakistan, Slovenia, Turkey and the UAE. Where did Abubakar Shekau get one?

Ada Malilory wrote,

you are all birds of a feather, see the statement of schola ijekeye and you still want us to believe that those girls are really missing? !!!!
please try to stop mailing me if you won’t see things as they really appear.
All evidences have shown that the FG has a hand in BH and now Okonjo is the one calling for international help even without the knowledge of okupe!.. … and …I actually don’t know how to start the prayers for naija.

Chxta responds,

There is no need to start prayers. Just read Proverbs 15:8 and go on your merry way.

Austin wrote,

Its not surprising that a lot of Nigerians find nothing wrong with the 1st lady’s display on national and international TV. Most Nigerians reason and are shallow like that and that’s why we would continue to have leaders who reflect who we are. Beyond finding the girls, am afraid there seem to be no end in sight to this retrogressive situation we have plunged ourselves into!

Chxta responds,

In all honesty, I’m beginning to worry that most of the girls will not even be found.

———————-

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.