by Demola Rewaju

Because a woman’s emotions are more easily attuned to that of the person she is in love with, her heart is more easily broken. In reality, a heart cannot break but if you’ve ever experienced that feeling as though the world is crashing right around you, you will know that there is no better way to describe the feeling of jaded love than to call it a heartbreak.

The entire journey of life shows us that things happen to us and people come into our lives for two major reasons: to teach us how to be or how not to be. When the lesson comes in the negative, it can make us step back from the entire process of the thing and conclude that perhaps it’s not for us or that it will come when it will come.

In only few areas is this more expressed than in love. Falling in love is a beautiful thing, one of the best things that can happen to any individual. The motivations of love can spur the heart to great heights and under the power of love, humans have excelled all through the ages. It is so powerful that nobody can go through life without love. Living without loving is comparable to the effect of smoking fifteen sticks of cigarette daily in terms of the longevity of life. Unfortunately, many of us were not adequately prepared to understand the dynamics of this powerful feeling from childbirth. Wrong relationship models – usually one’s parents – give us a wrong idea of love and when in teenage years you dabble into it, you come as unprepared as a child on the first day of school.

India Arie used to be one of my favourite artistes and I remember she sang about being ready for love on one of her tracks but mentioned that she longed for both its joys and pains. That broke something within me: love has pains too. To love is to risk being hurt and to risk being hurt is to feel pain. When you love so much, your greatest joy is in being loved back. Another artiste sang about the goodness of loving somebody and having that person love you back. A couple may love each other but one still ends up feeling less loved simply because men and women love differently.

A man in love may not do all the things that a woman in love may do and a woman in love after a major heartbreak will act differently from a woman who’s experiencing the joys of love for the first time. A woman who has felt the pains of love will be more cautious than one who has not. Why do women feel the hurt of heartbreak more keenly than men? Because women are creatures of emotional strength rather than mental logic. A man is more prone to analyse things while women depend more on intuition and sensitivity to the things around them. Neither is superior to the other – both are part of this balance of life, to complement each other and show us that we need this union of male and female to be complete in life.

Because a woman’s emotions are more easily attuned to that of the person she is in love with, her heart is more easily broken. In reality, a heart cannot break but if you’ve ever experienced that feeling as though the world is crashing right around you, you will know that there is no better way to describe the feeling of jaded love than to call it a heartbreak. With every experience of pain, the first instinctive reaction is to withdraw from the source of pain and the soul draws a pattern: since it was fire that burnt you, anything that has the appearance of fire can burn you s avoid anything that bears a semblance of fire. That’s how some ladies shut their hearts to love.

Don’t run from love, just get wiser about it. Understand that not every man who says it mean sit and even those who mean it do not always understand it. does this mean you should avoid men or make them prove themselves till they are disillusioned? No, sister. Don’t forget where we started from – the entire journey of life shows us that things happen to us and people come into our lives for two major reasons: to teach us how to be or how not to be. When a man breaks your heart, he teaches you not to fall in love with his type ever again so you must learn to recognise his type and not confuse him with any other or submit to the mindset of generalisation. Someday, a man will come who will make you see why it never worked with any other man and why it could never have worked with anyone else but him. Don’t shut your heart to love – just understand the joy of it and the pain it can sometimes bring and you’ll be fine.

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