Biola Williams: Depression is a monster that must not be feared

by Biola Williams

The NIH (National Institute of Mental Health) says depression (major depressive disorder or clinical depression) is a common but serious mood disorder. It causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, working or even relating with people. Depression is different from the fluctuations in mood and sadness that we all experience as a part of a normal and healthy life. Temporary emotional responses to the challenges of our everyday life i.e. losing a loved one does not constitute depression unless it is prolonged for more than 2 weeks and or reoccurring.

According to the WHO, depression is the most common illness worldwide. It is estimated that about 350 million people are affected by depression, globally.

From recent happenings and research, depression is an epidemic that we as Africans/Nigerians have gladly decided to overlook by doing what we know best, chasing shadows. Africans generally see depression as a white man’s disease. This is rather sad because, in reality, depression is an illness which is part of human existence and it can happen to anyone given the right situation/circumstances.

People who are depressed often have anxiety, they both often coexist and each can make the other worse. Anxious feelings can cause your mind to be full of thoughts which disrupt sleep and ability to relax and concentrate. One may also feel like life’s not worth living and hence lead to suicidal thoughts.

Some people would say; they are too strong and stable to get depressed or ever have suicidal thoughts but the fact remains that an unimaginable lot of Africans suffer depression and in some cases, chronic depression which could be suicidal. While some Africans (Nigerians) see this phase as a spiritual thing, others will tell you it’s something associated with bad behaviour/bad upbringing or even nemesis and all sorts of delusional theories. I am not ruling out the fact that it could be spiritual; all I’m saying is that it is 98.5% human.

The young generation of today is more exposed to the causes and effects of depression more than ever, they suffer in silence but cannot speak up because they never want to be in a situation of being looked down upon while some don’t think it is important to seek help as at when due as they feel real men/women don’t need mental advice. I can’t agree more with them because I am also part of the same society and I see these things myself, people tend to shut you up immediately and even ask you to reject what you said should you even dare mention “Depre…” Often times, we get to hear things like “oh you need to pray or see a religious cleric.” Of course, the prayers and counselling of a religious cleric can go a long way in calming and giving comfort to an individual but sometimes we shouldn’t let our religious belief get in the way of our physical and mental health hoping for a miracle without making necessary efforts.

During my research on this subject, I walked into 3 general hospitals to complain that I was feeling sad, dejected and that I think it may be depression. You’ll be shocked to hear what I was told:

  1. God forbid bad thing, never ever you say that again. What have you seen in this life that will make you depressed? It should probably be a fever.
  2. Africans and Nigerians especially have thick skin and so cannot be moved by situations. We are not like the whites that commit suicide over social media comments, things like that don’t move us so my brother be strong.
  3. You need to see your pastor for prayers.

I sat there asking myself in my head, what brought me to this place in the first place? Mental health care is not well managed and it is not taken seriously the same way we take malaria, polio et al. and it bothers me because it is all around us like Agege bread.

It could occur as a result of;

  • Personal or family history of depression
  • Major life changes, trauma, or stress which could be financial difficulties, work stress, social isolation, bullying, loss of a loved one, rape, catastrophic injury, unemployment and more.
  • Over expectation and living above one’s means
  • Illness, medical diagnosis, disabilities
  • Substance-induced like alcoholism and drug abuse

The social media for example, is one major factor that has fueled depression in recent times and I will explain how; don’t get me wrong, the social media has been of great advantage and has brought great opportunities to both individuals and business enterprises but on the down side, the social media is responsible for fake lifestyles which will eventually not end well especially when one cannot keep up with it. When people see other people live their lives in the media and they say to themselves I want what that person has, it creates want and expectation and when it is not met it transcends into depression and that could lead to bad things. People follow trends and lifestyles that they cannot keep up with and this bring us to the twist. After all, is said and done and there’s nothing left to do, they tend to hide the depression in social media making themselves look okay and unshaken whereas there’s a very big problem behind the scene which is why you don’t hear people crying out for help.

Attention disorder: seeking help is not the same thing as seeking unnecessary attention especially when it is not given can cause depression.

People also get depressed due to lack of satisfaction; if one is not satisfied with what they have they cannot be happy.

What are the symptoms?

  • Feeling of guilt, hopeless, worthless, sad, empty
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies or activities
  • Difficulty in sleeping or oversleeping
  • Appetite or weight changes
  • Thoughts of death, suicide or suicide attempts.
  • Withdrawal from friends and or relatives unduly

Road to recovery

  • Speak up, don’t keep quiet about it.
  • Seek the adequate medical help
  • Satisfaction brings happiness. In fact, happiness conquers any form of depression.
  • Keep in mind that there’s a better tomorrow
  • Exercise regularly
  • Denial is something you shouldn’t try, acceptance and distractions will do the magic, even though the mind will keep wandering back, it reduces the impact. Distract yourself with things you like or learn new things.
  • Set realistic goals for yourself.
  • Spend time with other people and confide in trusted friends and/or relatives
  • Keep in mind that your mood will improve gradually and not spontaneously.
  • Isolating yourself is a bad idea.
  • Go for checkups when you have a discomforting feeling
  • If you are guilty of drug abuse, please take the right step and get clean
  • You may need to change environment, sometimes the environment may be toxic to you.
  • Make research and read articles on depression, it will help.
  • Eat healthy
  • Pay attention to your appearance and love yourself
  • Go for counselling

If it’s worse and won’t go away after you have done all these, I would advise that you should see a psychiatrist, occupational therapist or psychologist. Sometimes going on vacation and retreats helps redirect the mind to what really matters.

Taking periodical breaks from social media (your personal social media account if you work in a media firm) helps too. You get to see and notice things and people you’ve been missing or may have forgotten.

Never feel you always have to follow people’s principle, live your life for yourself and own it. Don’t care too much about what and how people think about you and how you should live your life. Make sure you are always satisfied and always stay positive.

What can you do to help?

  • One thing we all have to note is that, judging people without knowing the reason for their domino is bad.
  • Giving nice compliments, be human, it will go a long way.
  • If someone is grieving, be there for them in the best way you can.
  • Don’t remind them of their mistakes or make them feel they have done something abominable
  • Appreciate the little things people do for you
  • Get them engaged and busy so they don’t remember the cause of their sadness.
  • Let them know you are thinking about them

It is also important to take care of yourself too o you don’t get depressed.

One thing to put in mind is that if you let depression get the best of you, you are actually the one losing out. The world will not stop and wait for you. Taking your own life is the most foolish and ignoble decision in the whole world and it definitely will solve nothing. People will be sad, mourn and then move on and that is the reality of life. There are loads of great stuff happening in the world that will make people get over you as soon as possible. And with the fascinating technological developments, trust me even your best pals will let go of the memory of you in a very short while. Not everything is from your enemies or village people.

Depression is a monster that must not be feared.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail