by Olumuyiwa Ayoola
No matter how physically built a woman can be, she cannot play the role of a man same with a man. Irrespective of how well you can twist your waist, it will still not make you a woman.
There is perhaps no debate that is divisive right now as the one on same sex marriage. It has been ranging on for ages and from the look of things, it’s not about to abate, not with all the sides sparing no punch to make their voices heard. It is therefore important that people will choose to make their voices heard, at least, those who are against it as it seems it is only those who are in support that are having a field day. Hardly, a day goes by on the international news channels like CNN, BBC, Skye News that you don’t hear one party or the other advocating their position. It got a head even during the election of the new pope that those in support were rooting for some candidates who they feel are most likely to be sympathetic to their cause. All that seemed to have been dashed with the election of Pope Francis as he is known to be a promoter of a man and a woman relationship.
The whole argument is all about seeking equality in relationships in that a marriage should be considered as a union between two people as against the current practice of strictly saying, it is a union between a man and a woman. Those in support are of the opinion that irrespective of your gender you should be able to marry whomever you want without any discrimination. For some, it is discrimination in the cloak of apartheid and the other forms of discrimination that the world has been subjected to. While those against are of the opinion that it is against natural law, and that such relationships are not self sustaining as it would need a third party to bring forth a fruit i.e. children. But those in support argue on the issues of those with heterosexual relationship who need the help of outsiders too.
The argument has been on and I think that the opportunity for all the parties to air their views have been lopsided in support of the those who want the same sex marriage to become legally bound and have same rights as with those who have heterosexual relationships. On the international news channel and those of their influential anchors like CNN with Piers Morgan and Christiane Amanpour, it has been a gale of one supporter or the other for the need to make same sex marriage legal. I have not seen one where they have brought people who are against to be allowed to view their opinions without being made to seem conservative or ultra conservative. On one of those occasions that the Catholic Archbishop of the New York diocese, Timothy Michael Cardinal Dolan was interviewed, it was to see if the new pope will be accommodating to the same sex marriage debate. Not genuinely interested in airing his views for those against and giving a boost to those who oppose.
The way it is being carried on is as if everyone in Europe and the US is in support of the proposal to legalize same sex marriage. And from findings, opinions are evenly divided on the issue and even some states have those who are against more than those who are in support. It seems there is a conspiracy on those against not to be heard. I think journalism and news reporting is all about airing fair and balanced news which has been lacking in the debate. It took me listening and reading some faith based news channel and magazine for me to know that there are millions as well who are against.
In fact, during the two days debate in Washington on the Proposition 8 and Defence Marriage Act at the US Supreme Court, there were as many people against as those who were in support. We didn’t get this view from the major mainstream news channels. I think they have been unfair. Everybody should be given a chance to air their views and must not be made to look like they are subhuman because they have an opinion which is sort of contrary to assumed majority opinion which I seriously doubt right now considering the culpability of these news channels on stifling voices against the debate.
I personally find same sex relationship disgusting and will not for any reason advocate it being legalized and accepted as a norm like the heterosexual marriage. This does not mean I feel more important or human than those in support or who in fact have such inclination. But nobody should be blackmailed and made to look stupid just because you do not support it. My disagreement stems from several levels and one of the reasons for my speaking now is to at least give voice to those against. Everybody should be free to give their opinion and I do not support barbaric behaviours against those who practice homosexual relationship. I think this debate should be conducted with decorum and civility.
I am a Christian and I don’t owe anybody any apologies for that and my Christian faith teaches me that God created them male and female and asked them to populate the earth (Gen. 1:27 – 28). How do two women populate and make babies? This will refer to my earlier position that such relationships are not self sustaining. They will need the help of a man to donate the sperm. Without the sperm, they won’t be able to procreate same with men relationship; they will need a surrogate mother to make babies. The argument might be made of heterosexual relationship with fertility issues; this is an exception to the rule not the norm. God made that man and woman should marry and procreate, for those who refuse to have children, which is their choice but cannot validate the argument for same sex marriage.
For those who claim to be Christians and say they are acting on God’s instruction to love your neighbour as yourself (Mk. 12:31, Mt. 22:39), I think they are turning the bible upside down. The love for neighbour does not involve sleeping with them. It involves wishing them well and being nice to them as the Christian faith encourages. The bible makes it abundantly clear that God is annoyed with such unions and was dealt with in a severe way in the bible (Lev. 20:13). I don’t want to sound all spiritual but I made this point because some people are saying they are Christians and are in a homosexual relationship. What with connivance of the Church of England and other mushroom churches. You cannot be a Christian and engage in homosexual relationship.
Studies have shown that most prison inmates are victims of dysfunctional families where in most cases the father absconded leaving the woman alone to cater for the children. Are we not with this debate making rooms for more future prison inmates where man and man or woman and woman will try to play the role they are not meant for? No matter how physically built a woman can be, she cannot play the role of a man same with a man. Irrespective of how well you can twist your waist, it will still not make you a woman. There are inherent attributes that God gave to a man and woman that cannot be supplanted by any artificial attributes. The future of children from same sex relationship from the foregoing is at best uncertain.
Let’s get a bit personal. How do they make love? I think in the process of arguing this point we have left some important points out. In a heterosexual relationship, men and women do what is called foreplay before they finally have sex. How would a woman and woman make love and derive pleasure from it. This important point must be made that part of the reasons for God instituting marriage is such that couples may enjoy each other’s company and crown it with sex. Are we now saying that we have reduced ourselves to the level of animals that we now have sex through the anus? I find that unimaginable. Or in a lesbian relationship where they employ the use of artificial equipment like vibrators and synthetic penis?
I think this debate should be carried on and let those who are against be as vocal as those in support. We have given them space to state their case for too long without those against saying anything. It is high time we spoke up. And by the way, where do we stop? Soon enough, the argument will be for human beings to have the right to marry their pets like cats, dogs, horses and donkeys as some opinion in this regard is already brewing.
I do hope my little contribution will ignite this debate beyond the shores of this country. We must not allow ourselves to be cowed by the developed countries; this shows clearly that they do not have the monopoly of knowledge.
Olumuyiwa Ayoolawrites from 21, Shobayo street, Palmgrove, Lagos.
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