by Cheta Nwanze

Maybe it is the weakness that we inadvertently ascribe to God that explains why our country remains firmly nestled in the toilet despite the fact that there is a church and or mosque in almost every corner you can think of.

Nothing gets Nigerians moving more than purported service to God. Yes, the average Nigerian, Christian or Muslim, will do ANYTHING to show his loyalty to God. Thus it was that yesterday, a good friend called to blast me for failing to castigate the former Abuja landlord for a tweet concerning Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene. At the point, I had not seen the offending tweet, but that conversation had me reaching for my phone to see what the problem was. And boy, was it not a major offence committed by Uncle Nasir. He re-tweeted a statement from someone who happens to be a Christian by the way, because he found it funny. In 2013, people are getting their knickers twisted, because God happens to be too weak to defend himself. For the records, Mr El-Rufai has moaned an apology, most likely not because he means it, but because it is the politically correct thing to do. God’s people have fought the good fight, and have beaten the Devil yet again.

Maybe it is the weakness that we inadvertently ascribe to God that explains why our country remains firmly nestled in the toilet despite the fact that there is a church and or mosque in almost every corner you can think of. It is very likely that this firm reaction over mundane issues is what saps our energy when the real issues sashay past us.

Thus it was that yesterday two men were convicted, and sentenced. In Abuja, Yakubu Yusuf, the man who was once in charge of the police’s pensions, and who in the process helped himself to N23.3 billions of our policemen’s retirement savings, was asked to pay a grand total of N750k and walk away a free man. Yes, he is to forfeit property valued at N325 millions. In other words, he has walked away a free man after dropping 1.5% of the stash he helped himself to. Meanwhile 275 km away, Obinna John must be wondering why he was so stupid as to not to learn how to use a pen to commit a robbery. He was convicted of robbing Doty Olaniyi of N1,705 and some powdered milk. His sentence, to hang by the neck until he is dead. Our outrage at both sentences has been restricted to social media from the comfort of our homes. May God have mercy on Obinna John’s soul.

Meanwhile one of the state governors, one whom I actually like (he is very funny), Rotimi Amaechi, has gone one further to prove that God does have some strength. Unlike the rest of Nigeria (minus the animists), who take up arms on behalf of the erstwhile Almighty, Don Amaechi knows squarely where power originates from. Power comes from God. So to those of you who sit anonymously behind your keyboards and mouth off all sorts of rubbish about Don Amaechi, God will fight you on his behalf. You have been warned.

Meanwhile, it seems that either the warnings, or the promises of riches untold if they accept an amnesty have gotten to a faction of Boko Haram. After thousands of Muslim deaths and a few hundred Christians, a faction of the group has suddenly decided that what they are doing is un-Islamic. Expect to see pictures of seized weapons, and some of them being sent to Sri Lanka to learn underwater drilling.

Bits and Bobs

Despite all of our problems, the Canadians still believe in us.

There wasn’t enough meat in the food that Naira Yohanna served her 26 year old nephew in Lafia, the Nasarawa state capital, so he added her to the food.

The EFCC is fast becoming yet another ministry. Not enough money to do the work, and overheads that will make it an even more lumbering monster than it already is.

Joachim has come up with the almost perfect re-joiner to the national parrot’s ad hominem response to Madam Due-Process.

Victor Moses will face a late fitness test as Papa Eagles warm up for this evening’s elimination from the Nations Cup. You can catch Ethiopia 1-1 Nigeria on SuperSport from 6 pm.
– Right of reply (unedited as usual)

Adebiyi Olusolape said,

Perhaps, Mrs. Ezekwesili’s speech is peppered with facts and figures in order to inject new vigor into an analysis that is by now as familiar and tired as my old, NYSC boots.

Let us, in spite of our yawns and obvious boredom, pretend to be interested in the facts and figures that are purportedly the (back)bone of Mrs. Ezekwesili’s arguments. One finds it curious that she seems to have deflated Nigeria’s GDP figures by  $8bn and inflated those of Singapore by over $70bn.

Since one has not been provided with her sources, giving one the option of assessing the credibility of the sources on which her stats are based, one finds it very difficult to resist the temptation of concluding that she’s simply made up her facts and figures.

One is entitled to one’s opinions but not to one’s facts or figures, which clearly seems to be Mr. Maku’s argument, if one can get past Mr. Maku’s style of argumentation. And, it may be an indication of the quality of Mrs. Ezekwesili’s speech, which one’s yet to read in its entirety, that Mr. Maku challenges the verity of a completely different set of figures from the ones identified above.

To cut Mrs. Ezekwesili’s speech writer some slack, all these simply might be the case of some typos that got away, and that genuinely seems to be the case with the GDP figures provided for Malaysia, but who knows? Perhaps, these errors are the hallmarks of “creative” speech writing.

I suppose, the nitpicking is entirely unnecessary as what’s important are not the dubious facts and figures which Mrs. Ezekwesili marshals but the comparative trends which she is at pains to show. Perhaps. But that point is a very different one from the one Chxta espouses in the newsletter.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.