by PUA Training

1. ANALYSE EVERYTHING WAY TOO MUCH

Have you heard of the term analysis paralysis? It’s a very common problem for men that involves you thinking a hell of a lot about topic which doesn’t help you improve your game.

For example, you may see a cute girl sitting down on a bench in tfhe park and you know you should approach her, but you start to conjure up questions in your mind that lead you to walk right past her and not say a thing.

Analysing the situation beforehand should be quick and simple…

YOU: Is she alone on the park bench? Yep, cool then I’ll approach.

Not this…

YOU: Is she alone? Yeah, but there is a guy right next to here, what if he hears me? Should I approach her? Is she even hot enough? What should I say? Blah blah blah!

So focus on the approach and analyse later… if at all.

2. MAKE EXCUSES TO COVER THEIR FEARS

When you are fearful of something, you start to make excuses as to why you’re not doing something.

For example, you may be with some friends grabbing a coffee and a hottie walks into the shop. You should have approached her but instead you made the following excuses:

• I don’t want other people to hear me talk to her
• She doesn’t look that nice up close anyway
• I’ve got nothing to say, my mind goes blank
• I’m not in the mood
• I really can’t be bothered to pick her up
• I’ll approach the next hot girl that walks in

So as you can see, it’s just nonsense that does absolutely nothing for your game. The more you make excuses, the less you will be able to actually approach and start building attraction.

Basically, stop being a bitch and get over there!

3. THINK THEY KNOW ENOUGH

A very strange ego driven feeling is developed in a large number of guys that will seriously kill your chances of getting better with women.

It’s called… you think you know enough.

In a nutshell, some men think they have learnt all they need to know about picking up women and game, therefore they don’t need to learn anymore.

The moment you think this, your game will drop and you’ll get worse.

Guys who have the best game with women, NEVER stop learning or trying new things… unless they get a girlfriend and settle down.

So never assume you know enough, because there is always something to learn. Are you a master at approaching but suck at closing? Then you need to learn how to close quickly and effectively.

Keep learning dude, it will pay off.

4. ASK TOO MANY BORING QUESTIONS

When you’re nervous around women you tend to throw out a bunch of boring questions just to keep the conversation flowing… but what it’s actually doing is killing any attraction you originally had.

You need to be asking less questions but making more statements and assumptions. Assuming things about a girl will make the conversation much more interesting and engaging, it also allows her to talk more.

If you’re asking closed questions all the time, she will only have one word answers for you… yes or no. However you use statements and assumptions, she will be carrying most of the conversation after the first 5 minutes.

So stop asking lame questions and start assuming more.

5. DON’T BUILD ENOUGH RAPPORT

This is the most talked about subject and hardest to master when it comes to picking up girls. Men seem to have a big problem with building rapport and developing a strong enough connection with women.

Rapport just means that you are both fully engaged in the conversation and you are connecting with her on a deeper level, so she starts to feel some sort of attraction towards you.

In other words she’s emotionally invested in the conversation.

6. INVEST FAR TOO MUCH EMOTION

As human beings it’s in our nature to be emotional creatures. But we do have the choice to react and stir up more emotions based on our actions and thoughts.

Men just starting out tend to place a heavy amount of emotion on every girl they meet, especially if they haven’t had a girlfriend before.

Try and harness your emotions, stop being so emotional around women by wearing your heart on your sleeve. This is very off putting to a woman and they are the emotional ones, so leave it up to them!

7. HAVE NO PLAN

We all know that women like to be lead, so it’s an obvious next step that you should create a plan for any type of meeting (date) with a girl.

Indecisiveness is not an attractive quality, but leading and assurance is. The problem men have is they don’t plan anything, they just have one or two things in mind like going for a drink at a bar and grabbing some food.

You need to be precise and tell her exactly what’s going on.

• Meet her at a certain place and time
• Go for a drink in a cool bar
• Grab some food
• Head back to yours (make sure you’re place is nice)
• Do the deed

If you just hope for the best and go with the flow, you’re relying on luck not skill.

8. TAKE REJECTION TO HEART

Rejection is everywhere, in the workplace, friendships, family, dating… the list goes on. So it’s something that you need to learn to deal with, especially when talking to women.

If you approach 10 women, at least one or two will reject you, it’s just the nature of the game.

A lot of guys, take this really badly and feel discouraged. You should take every rejection as a learning curve and not as a personal attack, it’s the only way you can move forward and not feel down about it. As long as you work on your self confidence, you should be fine.

9. NEVER LEARN FROM MISTAKES

Mistakes are made when you don’t entirely know what you’re doing or you take your eye of the ball. You should constantly be learning from your mistakes and crafting your skills with women.

Guys that don’t learn from their mistakes make them again and again, which leads to frustration and giving up. Don’t be that stupid and you’ll do just fine.

10. HANG AROUND IDIOTS WITH NO GAME

The next time you’re out with your friends, take a look around and look at each of them individually. What are each of these guys contributing to your game? If the answer is nothing for any one of them, then you need to cut them loose.

Sounds harsh, but it’s true.

If you want to be the best, you need to hang around with the best. Like minded people that are doing what you want to do.

A lot of guys seem to hang around with the same crowd even when learning game, so it’s no wonder it takes them twice as long to learn.

The best way to get a new social circle is by attending a live bootcamp. Every guy on these live eventsis there to do better with women, so they are perfect to hang out with after.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.