Most women want men who will protect them and make them feel safe–but they don’t want a dictator who tells them where to go, when to leave, who to talk to or what to wear.
When it comes to dating, women often go against their better judgment and overlook quirky things men do to cut them some slack. Although the women you’re dating are trying their best to see your better qualities, there are definitely near-universal red flags they look for when sizing you up.
Here are 10 red flags women look for and hold against you, especially on the first date.
1. Constantly talking about your ex
Constantly talking about your ex with your dates can make a very bad first impression and run a new woman off in a hurry! Your first conversation on a date with a new woman should be fun and intriguing, not consumed with emotional baggage and especially not discussions about your ex. Women view men that can’t stop talking about their ex non-stop as having unresolved frustrations and pent-up bitterness.
2. Having several kids with multiple women
Most women will skip over men in this situation because it’s clear that these guys don’t like to wear condoms, are more likely to have STDs and have serious commitment issues.
3. Being too controlling
Most women want men who will protect them and make them feel safe–but they don’t want a dictator who tells them where to go, when to leave, who to talk to or what to wear. Dating a guy with a controlling nature can be pretty scary for women and will cause them to run from you very quickly.
Women don’t want to date men who constantly feel sorry for themselves; therefore, it’s important that you resist the urge to complain about your job, your health, the economy, etc. Most women feel that negative men are afraid to improve themselves and are very juvenile, so if you hate your current circumstances and aren’t doing anything about them but complaining, the women you’re dating will notice and start getting turned off.
5. Being preoccupied with sex
Men who are preoccupied with sex are a huge turnoff because women want to be valued for things other than their bodies and they know solid relationships can’t be based on sex alone. Avoid telling your date about your wild sex life unless she has made it clear that she welcomes these discussions.
6. Bad-mouthing others
A woman won’t be impressed when you dish dirt on coworkers, family or friends, or criticize those close to you. Not only that, but she will question your loyalty to her and begin to wonder what you say behind her back and if she can really trust you.
7. Lack of ambition
Women like to date men whom they can move forward with and see a bright future. They don’t want to be with men who have no ambition or drive, are stagnant and are going nowhere fast. Women want to know that a man can take care of himself, so having an unfavorable lifestyle and showing no signs of maturity can make a woman flee from you.
8. Lack of chivalry
Being a gentleman when you are on a date means showing a woman that you are attentive, respectful and well-mannered. We should all strive to be gentlemen at all times; however, many men today shy away from it, attempting to respect a woman’s space and equality. While just about every woman is enjoying the benefits that come with equality, at the end of the day, she wants to be treated like a lady and if you can’t deliver, there’s a good chance she won’t stick around for long.
9. Still living at home
10. Moving too quickly
Moving too fast in a relationship is usually a sign that you’re uncomfortable being by yourself or you are looking for a woman to help solve your problems. Talking about what your children will look like after the first date, asking for intimacy or marriage too quickly or even spilling loads of very personal information too quickly all point to desperation.
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.