by Anike Jacobs

Aww, newly married actress, Ibinabo Fiberesima has reflected on how she battled the pressure of being a single woman for years before finally settling down with the love of her life at over age 40, this weekend.

The mum of five who has been in different failed relationships exchanged the marital vows with Ebuka, in Port Harcourt on Friday.

Recounting how she battled the depression she faced before marriage, the Actors’ Guild President in an interview with ThisDay Newspaper, said “I believe God wanted a better man for me that is why my past relationships failed. Besides, my previous relationship did not work because I was not patient enough. I tried my best to make it work. I prayed severally and I wept. I even went the extra mile just to make it work, but I never knew God had a better plan for me. I did all I could to have a man I can call my own but God knows best and his reason are unquestionable. Until I found my man, I have never enjoyed my relationships. Marriage to me is supposed to be enjoyed not endured. That is the major reason why I am settling down with someone that understands me properly. My man is very romantic and caring. That is what I asked from God and he gave it to me.”

Her  relationship with Fred Amata, the father of one of her kids.

I can never ignore Fred. He is my daughter’s father and a wonderful friend. I will never disrespect him. Even if I am with a man, I must always walk up to him and greet him. Some people wouldn’t do that. I have seen people who got separated and divorced and they don’t speak to each other in public. I will never do that. Even if we had quarrelled before the event, I would still walk up to him and greet him. He is still my true friend. Fred is aware of my marriage plans. He is not an enemy. Since marriage did not work out for the two of us. He gave me his support. He is very happy about it and I know he will continue to wish me well because we are still good friends. Fred is my daughter’s father. Yes, he knows about my marriage. He supports my marriage.

Her advice for those ladies that have given up on getting married?

They should place their hope in God. Remember, God’s time is the best. No woman should feel the pressure to get married. Marriage should not be by force or a do-or-die affair for any ladies –especially for those considered being over-aged. If your marriage is not working, move on because God has a better plan for you. If you are still searching keep praying to God. One day, he will hear your cry. Marriage is a good thing and good comes to those that believe it. Marriage should not be so much about looking at each other but looking in the same direction together. Always remember the positive things that brought you together and then to concentrate on positive goals to achieve as a couple. Marriage is not always 50/50. Some days you will wake up and may have to give 90 per cent and your spouse will give 10 per cent. Other days you may wake up and give 25 per cent and your husband will have to put in the 75 per cent. If you want to keep your marriage long-lasting and successful, be flexible in your attitudes. You should be willing to create balance in your life, and be open to change. My observation is that all the cute, unique things that made your spouse wonderful in the beginning are going to be the things that get on your nerves later. Try to focus on the positive. If you look for negative qualities in someone you are sure to find them.

Sola