by Cheta Nwanze

While simultaneously failing to give us an alternative solution to the #BokoHaram menace, Uncle Lai said that the Prez’s decision lacked “original thinking”.

Late Prof. Achebe was a candid man. Candid enough to reject at least two Nigerian national honours in his life because, well, because the system here’s quite broke and nothing ain’t being done to fix it. Now, the man has died. And our gavels want to give him similar national honours. For an all too fleeting moment, some common sense ruled because when Chris Ngige suggested a post-humus GCON for Onye Nkwuzi, someone said it would not be appropriate, because Onye Nkwuzi rejected the award oge o di ndu. However, the common sense promptly took the next available flight out of the chambers, and the Gavels went on to recommend to the FG that Onye Nkwuzi be given a state funeral and a major national highway be named after him. Oh well, since we are not into granting people’s wishes after they have shuffled off of this mortal coil, why not just grant him the GCON, build a bust of him at Nkpor, then abandon it like various statues that dot our landscape so all manners of yahoos can come and stick posters on it. You see, Onye Nkwuzi finally left Nigeria behind because a car accident on a bad road left him in a wheelchair for the final 22 years of his life. What an irony it would be if a Chinua Achebe Way is potholed at some point in the future…

Talking about ironies, Chris Mamman (remember him from yesterday?) is in the news again. The ethnic champion is turning reality on its head and has in one fell swoop absolved the Ombatse Cult of the murder of 56 Nigerian security operatives. What is even more interesting, is that he failed to tell us whodunnit.

Bits and bobs

ACN parrot, Lai Mohammed, has urged the gavels to reject the State of Emergency in two ANPP states and one PDP state. While simultaneously failing to give us an alternative solution to the #BokoHaram menace, Uncle Lai said that the Prez’s decision lacked “original thinking”. On its part, the CPC, has asked us to rally around the Prez in this trying times. A more mature perspective if you ask me…

Meanwhile the troops have more or less sealed up the capitals of the recalcitrant states.

Still on security, after a certain fashion, Lagos has given Neighbourhood Watch 500 stun guns.

Away from security for today, to the lack of security for tomorrow, and the NLC is showing a lack of “original thinking” (thanks Uncle Lai). Despite the failure of countless “indefinite strikes”, the labour union is backing the Nigerian Union of Teachers as they embark on an indefinite strike starting in two weeks. Let me borrow another leaf from Uncle Lai here. I don’t know what to do to solve the problem of non-payment of teachers’ agreed increments.

Meanwhile yet another one that should have us all quaking, Diamond Bank staff went on the march yesterday because of money matters. Now zipping off to check my account balance…

Right of Reply

Eme Okon wrote,

What Henry Uti wrote about the attitude of the Fulani herdsmen is correct. I have never seen a more troublesome set of people. The constitution in stating that we are free to reside anywhere, did not legalize the senseless killings, rape and destruction of other peoples property, or did it?

I say if you come to my land, either inherited or purchased with my hard earned cash, and you begin to terrorise me, like Presido did, I will declare a state of emergency on my land and evict you fast. They should use their brains for once, like henry said, for alternative grass cultivation or forget the damn business. Afterall, read meat is dangerous to the heart.

Chxta responds,

Why not take it to the logical conclusion then and give each of us the right to bear arms so that we can defend our land? There is everything wrong with the Delta state government’s actions. To put it simply, it lacks “original thinking”. Such matters should be resolved on a case-by-case basis, and not with a sweeping removal of the rights of a whole peoples.

Chidi Okoye wrote,

I think allowing the affected governors continue perching on their seats is a smart way of avoiding military leaders getting carried away by the state purse strings. The argument by some is that the governors may interfere with military operations; knowing the Nigerian Army, I doubt that.

Austin wrote,

Citizens wonder why the state of emergency declared in Ekiti and Plateau state under the Obasanjo government had the governors replaced by military administrators and the one declared presently do not? For me both scenarios are different the former showed a great incompetence and complication of the situation by the affected governors, while the latter shows an overwhelming hopelessness of the governors with all the best intentions to quell the crisis. In any case let’s pray a solution is in sight and civilian casualties are kept at the barest minimum.

Oo Nwoye wrote,

Any fool can deploy an army to wipe out villages. Have we not learned form Odi? To what end is the deployment? Will the soldiers follow the animals across the border to Niger? How long do they think they can stay there? Will they kill all the males in Boronu and Yobe? What would be the long term repercussion of what we all know will be a random destruction of life and property? What is the long term plan to sort things out permanently?

Being president means you have unlimited carrot and sticks. Being able to know when and how much to apply it makes ALL the difference. 

So when you guys finish clapping for the obvious tactless deployment of force, and things ‘settle’, wait for the monster that will arise from the ashes.

Cheers. 

NB: I am not against the deployment of force.

Chxta responds,

Dear Oo, I await your “original thinking”.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.