So you asked around, “where did all the baby boys and girls living in Lagos go to?”

‘Island,’ they said.

You know Island means V/I, Lekki, Ikoyi, and all those places? But you chose to interprete your own island as Ajah. You refused to listen to the elders;

So you moved there. New beginnings, you said. You start inviting your friends over, but nobody wants to come because;

And your bae?

By Monday, you leave the house early just so you can beat the traffic. Nice one.

But everybody is doing the same thing.

Your friend calls you while you are in traffic. ‘I’m at Ojota, going to Benin’. ‘Safe Journey’, you say. They call you later, ‘I’m in Benin’, but you are still inside Ajah traffic;

You are going back home and you see this;

It ure going to Ajah. Buy a mattress the traffic starts from the second toll gate

— Cinderella Man (@Osi_Suave) November 9, 2015

My friend, is somebody doing you from somewhere?

IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF PETE EDOCHIE:

“WHAT THE ELDER SEES SITTING, A CHILD CAN’T SEE STANDING”.

My friend, go back and manage your Okokomaiko.