I am Big on Love.

When I say this people’s minds immediately go to romantic love. Man – woman, butterflies in your tummy love. But when I talk about love I am talking about love in its entirety. Love between man and woman, spouses, parent and child, siblings, friends, neighbours and even the love that we as humans will show to a total stranger.

2015 taught me a lot about love and loving right. About giving and receiving love. The little things, the sacrifice, the commitment even when the initial “ghizz ghizz” has faded. I unlearnt a lot along the way.

When the most unexpected people; are the ones who show the most Love. Why do I say unexpected? Because in our minds, someone of a certain gender or tribe or religion will definitely not help or show us love. And yet they do and even exceed it.

My stereotypes where completely shattered. They say older couples are not as “romantic” or into it as say newlyweds; well, I learnt, that is not true. One of my best friends and her husband celebrated 10 years in marriage and they still act like they just met.

They say Nigerian men are not romantic, another wrong stereotype that my business has helped shatter. 86% of my WR Favours customers are male. Surprising their spouses, moms, partners and even friends with all kinds of beautiful gifts, flowers etc every single day of the year not just on Valentine’s Day. Nigerian men!!!! Yes! Nigerian men! They show love but they want to get as much as they give.

I have seen workmen drained of all energy and yet a call comes in from their loved one and their face lights up and a surge of energy hits them. I have seen people who have given up, lost faith and are slowly dying, loved back to life.

I learnt that love could be a place (my sister’s house, playing with her kids), it could be an action, love could be forgiveness, love could be standing up for someone or standing up for something. I have seen love disrupt traffic, when an accident occurs and everyone springs to action bringing out survivors – or neighbours making a water chain to quench the fire in a house before the fire service gets there.

We focus so much on the negatives, we edit and play down the good and amplify and embellish the bad. Pain is exploited for retweets, but if and when we take the time to look around us, we will find that love abounds.

We always love hard when loss stares us in the face because when time is of the essence you pay attention, you don’t let anything, anything at all go unspoken. You watch, you memorize and you love a little harder. But that’s the way it should be every day. Love is not a special occasion or a special event, it’s in every day.

So I learnt to record stuff (pictures, videos, journals etc), and to shun procrastination. If the thought comes to my mind to do something nice for someone I just do it pronto no stalling. I learnt, If someone offers you love, take it, stop being so suspicious or feeling unworthy of it. I learnt to give love away every day in every form I can, in kindness, in mentorship, assistance, encouraging words, time, sacrifice, money(when necessary), apology, forgiveness etc.

And though I did not find “the one”, I found a sea of people that love unconditionally in a world where unconditional doesn’t come easy. I am privileged to call them friends. I should name names but all I’ll say is lucky me!

Love is big, it drives people to do things they never thought they would. They don’t call it love, but I will. That is my truth for 2015 and for the coming year. Be blessed!

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30 Days of Gratitude is a month-long series curated by Leading Ladies Africa. It chronicles the unique experiences of different African women, and presents them the opportunity to share their, life-learned lessons, dreams& aspirations, and their hopes for the future.

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