Is make-up sex dysfunctional?

From HealthyBlackWoman

black-couple happy in bed

If you have true intimacy with a partner, and are truly committed to a long term relationship, you will find a way to compromise and come together without having the angry make-up session.

Some couples don’t mind an intense fight. Why? Because they get to have the intense make up sex after. While it may be good at the moment, in the long run, it is not something that people should do often, if at all. It is good to connect with your partner again, but make-up “nookie” only reinforces the fight that you had and the emotional drama that comes with it. Some couples pick fights just to have the make-up sex!

Many couples can have a conflict or disagreement, resolve it and then come together afterwards and be intimate. This type of intimacy is brought on by feelings of compromise and togetherness. Unfortunately this is not what most make-up sex is about. Most of it stems from negative energy, hurt feelings, and intense drama, often with no resolution once the fight is done. This can end up leading to another fight once the fun part is over with.

While people are having their make-up session, they express strong emotions to one another. It is not real intimacy however, merely a fantasy of what they truly want to feel after a huge fight, but just can’t. They are in the moment and feel like they are resolving their fight, but when the heat of passion dies down, so do those intense emotions.

If you have true intimacy with a partner, and are truly committed to a long term relationship, you will find a way to compromise and come together without having the angry make-up session. After a fight, wait a while before you get close. Let your feelings sink in and make sure that you are really okay with the situation, and that you are doing “the deed” for the right reason.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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