Itunu Omolara Oriye: My Nigerian experience (30 Days, 30 Voices)

Lara Oriye

I vowed to change my world that day, I decided to channel the anger and disappointment toward making a change, I have always been one with a penchant to effect the much needed change our Nigeria needs but on that day I vowed, every young girl that comes in contact with me at whatever point of her life will not constitute a part of this decadence going on.

“Ha, I was still thinking that I could be banging you and taking good care of you, the last girl I took care of now works in the United Nations, in fact I will make contracts available for your dad  he is an architect isn’t he?” He talked on and on.

I didn’t know what to say, when I tried to speak I stuttered. I had never felt humiliated, I felt like I was in a bad dream and was drugged so I won’t wake up. I could not understand why a man would choose to be so rude to a person he barely knows and  speak in such a degrading manner. “What have done?”, I continued to wonder.

Before you judge me proud or self righteous, here is my story.

It was a Monday evening after my last class for the day. I normally spend some of my spare time tutoring other students who need extra help so it was not a surprise when I got a phone call; “My name is Charles (not real name). I heard you are a student tutor and I would need your help”. “No problem” I replied, “let’s fix a time, day and place, we’ll talk and see how I can be of help”.

The day of the meeting arrived. I sat and I presented the exam strategy I had come up with to help students pass law exams. As I presented my strategy, I noticed he was the “short cut” kind of person and personally, I do not have respect for such people. I don’t believe there is a short route to lasting and genuine success. I believe there is a right route.

The meeting continued as he tried to explain what he needed me to do for him. Then he began to digress. “Are you single he asked?” Taken aback and knowing the end of that conversation, I decided to lie. “I’m engaged”, I said. Even father Abraham lied about Sarah his wife in Egypt. “Desperate times calls for desperate measures”, I thought to myself.

“Do you cohabit with the said young man”, he probed further. At this point, I was uncomfortable and feeling offended. I retorted I’m a Christian and you know it’s not encouraged to cohabit. More so, it might not be healthy for the relationship. At this point, I knew I was already negotiating with a foo.l I picked up my bag to leave before the situation degenerated. Apparently I was already too late.

“So you are one of those Christian girls following ‘small’ boys who cannot take care of you, I don’t pity you. All girls are the same. Instead of the Christian gist, just name your price. I can change your life; with the right amount of money you will forget all this Christianity trash. Better come here and let me take care of you.” Yes, he said all of that.

As I prepared to give a well deserved rude lecture to this rude man, it struck me; this man albeit gross had a point. He claims to be speaking from experience. I do not excuse his rudeness but I took a closer look at how our Nigerian ladies over the years have stooped low enough to be defined by material possessions and are doing anything humanly possible to get them. The aristo/sugar daddy trend has eaten deep into the fabric of our society to a painful extent that people see it as normal. This man had no apparent reason to think I was different and that hurt, not my ego, but the fact that that is how men perceive Nigerian ladies.

I vowed to change my world that day. I decided to channel the anger and disappointment toward making a change. I have always been one with a penchant to effect the much needed change our Nigeria needs but on that day I vowed, every young girl that comes in contact with me at whatever point of her life will not constitute a part of this decadence going on. I will do something about this; Nigerian women are smart, intelligent and strong. We are a people who need not be defined by superficial standards. All we need is to set our priorities right and regain our faith in the value good old hard work and her sister good morals.

This experience however gruesome explained my dreams to me. It helped me understand that power, love and sound mind company has a mission to reach young women and restore the high standards of ‘the woman’.

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Itunu Omolara Oriye  is a motivational blogger/speaker. She’s passionate strong and driven and an incurable optimist. She writes at www.powerloveandsoundmind.com. She lives her dreams at the power, and sound mind company. It’s a foundation which seeks to change the mentality of young people through good quality information eradicating ignorance and social vices one person at a time. She’s a writer, learner, teacher, lover of God and life; a trained journalist and is in law school at present.

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30 Days 30 Voices series is an opportunity for young Nigerians to share their stories and experiences with other young Nigerians, within our borders and beyond, to inspire and motivate them.

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.


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Comments

  • Nice one Miss Itunu… The world is waiting for you.. It is your oyster.

    Kenneth Cjay Keme March 3, 2013 2:30 pm
  • Very good article. I’m with you completely. Those of us who care really need to change the perception of men and restructure the priorities of women or girls in this country.

    Mitchell March 3, 2013 3:53 pm
  • Nice piece. Change comes one person at a time.

    Adejoh March 4, 2013 3:08 am
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