Ladies: 4 ways to spot a heartbreaker
by Joanna Godyla
Players like to establish control of a sexual situation in its initial phase, and keep that control. They remain cool and collected at all times, rarely making a mistake or showcasing a sense of nervousness because they’re used to getting what they want from a multitude of girls.
Players. We’ve all been guilty of hooking up with them, maybe even made the mistake of dating them (what were we thinking?!) We know they only cause trouble but there’s something oddly intriguing about their perfectly tousled hair, brilliant flashing smiles, and all-around John Mayer-worthy good looks. However, as much as their looks and intoxicating demeanor makes you swoon and feel weak at the knees, never underestimate a player.
They’re a complicated and dangerous breed of men for a few reasons: they’re smart, they know what they’re doing, and they know the effect that they have on women. So how do you outsmart a cocky player? By knowing the rules and in turn, playing the game better than they can. So ladies consider this your go-to guide, with warning signs and advice to help you spot a player before he has a chance to saunter over and entrap you into his game.
He’s Too Overconfident During a First Meeting
You‘re at a bar and a dark-haired, Enrique Iglesias look-a-like confidently strolls up to you, places his hand on your lower back, and whispers “You light up this room” sexily into your ear. He may be telling the truth, but more often than not he’s done this before and he knows exactly the reaction he‘s going to get. Players like to establish control of a sexual situation in its initial phase, and keep that control. They remain cool and collected at all times, rarely making a mistake or showcasing a sense of nervousness because they’re used to getting what they want from a multitude of girls. If you’re still not sure of his overt confidence from his behavior alone, check out his body language. Players will walk with their shoulders back and a hint of a swagger in their step, keep their head cocked to one side when they talk to you, and display the signature bad boy smirk plastered on their face.
He Calls You Pet Names Early On
You may think it’s cute when he calls you baby and sweetheart when you guys first begin talking, but you have to wonder if he’s calling you those names as a sign of affection, or if he’s simply doing it because he has trouble telling you apart from the other girls he’s talking to. Remember, players are smart, smooth, and confident. They may assign pet names to all of the girls they’re talking to so that they will never break their game by making the awkward mistake of texting or addressing the wrong one.
He Only Calls/Texts/Wants to Hang Out at Night
You’re thinking, “Oh, he must have been busy during the day”. That’s not the case. By planning to only contact or hang out with you during the night, it frees up his entire day so that he can do whatever he wants- watch sports, go to the gym, hang out with his friends, see other girls… you get the idea. He remains in control of the situation and gets to keep his freedom, while you’re left wondering what time you guys are actually going to hang out. A nice guy will make the effort to hang out with you when the sun is still out instead of stringing you along all day until you get a text at 1 a.m. stating “Hey”.
He Disappears Randomly
You finally think things are going well: he answered your texts a few days in row, you guys had a romantic picnic under the stars (followed by a great makeout session), you have plans for the upcoming Saturday night and then poof! He’s gone. Whether he flakes out on plans for only one night or he’s unresponsive for weeks at a time, there’s one thing that all players have in common: they always come back. It’s part of their game; they want to charm their way into having you text them and want to see them no matter how many times they’ve dissed you before. When he disappears without responding, it signals that he would rather be doing other things than seeing you. It boils down to one simple fact: he doesn‘t care about your feelings. So do yourself a favor and make sure to leave his texts and phone calls unanswered the next time he comes back around. If you’re not his top priority, he shouldn’t be yours.
So ladies, the best advice I can give to you about players is to not fall into their smooth-talking trap in the first place. It will only lead to frustration, mind games, drama, heartache, perhaps even tears. If you’ve already fallen into the trap, get out as soon as you can. Remember, never underestimate a player; they’re smart and good at what they do. They like to establish control early on, so it’s better to notice the warning signs so you know exactly what you’re dealing with before it’s too late.
Read more at 17 women’s magazine
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.