by Lara Kudayisi-Emeralds:

Study the woman you are with and learn to read her signs; it’s not as complicated as you think it is.

What does a woman want? What is her greatest desire? What does she hold dear? Why does she always cry? What would make her happy forever? These and many more questions trouble the lives of most men on earth and after so many failures in decoding her communicating language, they came to the conclusion that even women do not know what they want.

I have read so many jokes and cartoons about women not knowing what they want but I beg to differ because I am a realistic woman and I know I represent a large proportion of other realistic women who knows exactly what they want and how they want it.

I remember when I was growing up; I had a dream as a little girl. And when I became a teenager, I also had expectations and now that I am a full mature woman, I know what I want and in what proportion I want it. I want men to know that making a woman happy is not as difficult as they think. As a husband, meeting your wife’s need is not a tall dream. And as a boyfriend, your girlfriend’s desires are not unrealistic.

1) Attention: Every woman I know wants attention. Women are emotional beings who need to be treated delicately. A little attention doesn’t kill anybody. Learn to give that lady attention no matter how busy you are at work or anywhere else. A phone call or a text message can lighten her mood even when she is having the most horrible day ever. Give attention to what she says or what she wears and you will know that a woman is not as difficult as they seem to be.

2) Sensitivity: Most men I have come across are not sensitive at all. They are oblivious to the feelings and needs of a woman. This can tick a woman off so badly. Every woman wants someone who is sensitive to their looks, feelings or cues. We do not always have to say everything with our mouth, that is why we send some signals and cues that we hope you will be able to decode.

Study the woman you are with and learn to read her signs; it’s not as complicated as you think it is. Sometimes when she is quiet, she is trying to say something or even when she is being sarcastic. Try to tell the difference and ask her sometimes what exactly she means in case you are confused.

3) Special Care: I would die to have a man who cares specially about me. Actually, that is what my husband has over every other person I have ever dated in my life. He cares for me like no one else, sometimes even more than myself. He cares about how or when I eat, what I wear, how I look or even about my countenances and moods. Try and give a woman a little extra care and you would be shocked at what you would get in return; her whole life. When you pamper a woman, you bring out the little child in her and she would love you for such a long time for this.

4) Love: Actually when you love someone genuinely and the person can feel it, most times they want to tend to return your feelings because everyone wants to be loved. This is the life of a woman. When she can sense that your feelings and intentions are true, she would wholeheartedly give herself to you especially when she is not obligated to someone else. I am not just talking about surface love but that selfless love that the person can almost touch. That love that would never need the question: “Do you love me?” because it has scaled through what I call “The Proof of Love”.

5) Comfort: I know some guys would squeeze their noses at this but then it’s the truth. A woman wants some measure of comfort. Please tell me who wouldn’t like what would make her life easier. Who would mind if her boyfriend or husband spoils her silly with regular shopping trips, cars, a nice apartment and some other luxuries. No one likes to suffer especially if there is an option of a better life.

However, this doesn’t mean you have to kill to make her happy. If you do not have that capacity now, assure her of a better life and spoil her in the little way you can right now and a realistic woman would still love you hoping to help you in achieving a better future for both of you.

Making a woman happy is not that much of a difficult task as you think; just get involved in her life and routine. Make her problems yours and call her mostly through the day to find out how her boss has been or how her colleagues treat her. Say some nice things to her and help her get through her day daily and you will have her eating at the palm of your hands. Remember, you deserve the best, do not settle for less.

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Lara Kudayisi-Emeralds is a seasoned Relationship Strategist who believes that life is about relationships, the rest is details. She is very passionate about the healthy relationships of young people and particularly, the unmarried.  As a victim of several heart-rending heartbreaks and neglect, with a child to show for it at an early age, she avidly believes that as a single man or woman, you don’t have to go through hurting relationships and awful treatments in search of true love.

At various speaking engagements and articles published daily on her blog www.shatteredglassng.com as well as other prints, she discusses her experiences in her search for true love as learning grounds for others who seek true love and happiness in their relationships, thereby teaching young men and women various steps and strategies to take or not to in their search. The results she hopes are young men and women who are happy being in growing relationships that lead to marriage and likewise staying happy and fulfilled in their marriages.

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.