Moet Abebe: No one can be a better you (30 Days, 30 Voices)

by Moet Abebe

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“It is our imperfections that make us who we are and ensure that what we bring to the table in our everyday life is equally as special as that of the next person”

Hi, my name is Moet Abebe and you are welcome to my state of mind.

Now to be honest, putting all this together took quite a bit of soul searching because at this stage in my life I’ve been coaxed into making a few life changing decisions. Without a doubt, society has unknowingly laid down some unwritten laws on how to be the  perfect functional human being.

Let me list a couple of familiar phrases that are used in this general hypnosis of the masses. “All your mates are married… What are you waiting for?” , “Upon all your education…you have nothing to show for it” and my personal favourite ” See as you fat finish… Everyday you just dey resemble sea-pork”.  I’m sure a few if not all of us, have been taunted over one flaw or the other by someone who may not know how it affects us. Well, in all sincerity that’s society for you.

The buzz of making a New Year resolution seemed so appealing that I caught it myself, there I was pledging to hit the gym and lose some weight. I must admit the struggle is real. I have adhered to clean eating, done the two mile runs, dreaded burpees and the notorious “squat challenge” and yes I have noticed a few changes but still I want more—-which leads me to ask two questions:

1) Is it ever enough?

2) Why is it that some people, the Dangotes and Donald Trumps of the world, “seem”  to believe only the best of themselves, while others especially the younger generation seize on the most self-critical thoughts they can come up with?

Now I know we all have our personal answers to these questions and most of us may argue that nothing is ever enough as we constantly thrive to achieve perfection in the eyes of others let alone ourselves; Be it our dress sense, financial and marital status, our beliefs or life perspectives.

While others may get the secret behind self confidence from the likes of Dangote and Donald Trump; Success, which  we all thirst for, makes us aim at being over achievers . Yes, these answers may be correct and without a doubt there is no wrong in wanting to be a better you;  However, let us not forget that none of us is perfect.

It is our imperfections that make us who we are and ensure that what we bring to the table in our everyday life is equally as special as that of the next person. I wouldn’t necessarily say I am a die hard R’n’ B fan but presently one of my favourite songs happens to be John Legend’s “All of me”. Apart from the fact that John Legend’s voice is so breathtaking, the lyrics are really what got me hooked. He makes mention of how he sees past his partner’s flaws and all he notices are her “perfect imperfections” and how he’s so in love with all her “curves and edges”. These lyrics move me every time and often get me thinking how important it is to embrace not just some aspects of ourselves but all aspects including our flaws.

Every flaw has a purpose. In fact, flaws are the psychic responses to life challenges or traumas and if you fail to accept them due to the fear of being judged by others, then you stop being you and end up being someone everyone else wants you to be. I am not here sitting on my bed writing this to you as a self righteous female who has everything figured out; No, I’m here sharing with you that very familiar feeling of unworthiness which I also feel at times.

What I would love this piece to offer you if anything, is the idea that there is strength in your flaws and this strength can only be upheld through acceptance. Remember the one thing that you have that no one else has is you – your voice, your mind, your story and your vision. Hence, no one can be a better you. You are unique and without any question, you have something to offer as well as an all-time purpose.

Dear friends, don’t aim for Teyana Taylor’s abs or Ciara’s legs or Beyonce’s hips, aim at being a better version of you. Create that niche for yourself by taking into consideration all your flaws and watch yourself succeed to greater heights. On a final note, I leave you with this question “why try to fit in.. when you were born to stand out?”

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Moet Abebe is a Nigerian media personality, she works with Soundcity TV. She tweets from @moetabebe.

30 Days, 30 Voices series is an opportunity for young Nigerians from across the world to share their stories and experiences – creating a meeting point where our common humanity is explored.

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija

Comments (2)

  1. Nicely written Moet. Let us all strive to be a better version of us.
    Respect!

  2. Nicely written Moet. Let us all strive to be a better version of us.
    Respect!

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