by Adedayo Ademuwagun

Kathryn Underwood tells in her article The Name Game about how she used to be last on the roster back in school because of her surname ‘Underwood’.

She writes, ‘I felt like an outsider and I longed to be all snuggy with the Matthews and the Smiths and the Joneses. [So I thought] when I get married I’ll never have to be at the end of a register ever again.

‘And then I married a Williams.’

Surname intentions is a pretty topical issue in the world today — and a pretty debatable one. Should a married woman officially and professionally keep her birth name, or should she hyphenate or switch to her husband’s name?

Last May, a Facebook survey showed that 35% of married American women in their 20s and 30s who’re active on that social network changed their name when they married. In many European countries including Belgium, Greece and Spain, women normally don’t change their name when they marry. In Spain and Greece in fact, a woman cannot legally change her birth name even if she marries. She’ll officially bear the name for life and the name will remain for all official documents including ID cards and passports.

In Nigeria, the marriage law is silent about post-marriage name change. Usually, when a woman in Nigeria marries, she officially changes her name and puts a notice in a newspaper to notify the public about her new name. She officially ceases to bear the maiden name once all the processing is complete. Many women do this because it’s the custom and because it’s prestigious for a woman in this society to marry and become Mrs X. So it’s practically unheard of for a married Nigerian woman to bear a surname different from her husband’s, unless of course she’s Chimamanda Adichie or Mercy Johnson.

“It’s definitely weird,” says Jumoke. “How would a couple have different surnames? Are they celebrities or what? I don’t know any normal couples who bear separate surnames.

“I understand that everyone has the right to make their own marital choices and all that, but I feel it’s best for couples to have the same surname for easy identification and especially for their kids’ sake.”

But as Nigeria’s society is growing more Western and becoming more liberal, more Nigerian ladies (not just celebrities) are starting to see a need to keep their birth name and forgo convention. This is evident because many women these days use their name in addition to their husband’s or hyphenate both. For instance, a Nancy Ubong who marries a Kelvin Nwanna becomes Nancy Ubong Nwanna or Nancy Ubong-Nwanna. Some women find that this is convenient for their career and that a name change would disrupt their professional life and profile.

Jennifer says, “I’m a published author and journalist and my name is out there already. So changing my name and starting to write under a new name would cause some inconsistency and hurt my brand. So I’ve resolved to professionally keep my name when I’m married, and I and my fiancé have an understanding about this. He doesn’t have a problem with it.”

But some men are more conservative.

Aisha is trying to get into academia. She says, “I have a research paper that’s already been published in a number of international science journals. I’m trying to build my professional profile. So I spoke with my ex-fiancé about my surname intentions, that I’d like to officially keep my surname, but he didn’t quite reason with me. And later we broke up. That didn’t cause the split, but I guess it contributed to what led us to split because he saw me as one career-minded and independent woman.”

Lawrence would probably defend Aisha’s ex-fiancé. He says, “My view is that a couple having different surnames cannot be referred to as a ‘couple’. A couple that’s indeed united will bear the same surname, but having different surnames suggests that there’s some discord in the relationship.

“As for me, I won’t let my fiancée keep her birth name if we marry. But if she wants to and we talk about it, we’ll see about that. But hey, anyone would find it absurd that a Mr Femi Daniels is married to a Mrs Toyin Bolade. There’ll be questions. How will they raise their kids? They’ve covertly created a pathway for separation. My future wife would have to do a lot of convincing for me to let her keep her name. So yes, it would be a problem. But she’ll have a fair chance to prove to me that I’m wrong.”

Interestingly, some young Nigerian men have no problem with this surname thing. Chime says for instance, “If my future wife wants to keep her name, I’ll let her. But I might ask her to do it like a compound name. For me I feel it’s no big deal and I’m actually indifferent about it. So it’s up to her to make that decision.”

Will the Nigerian society one day get to that point when it’s normal for couples to have separate surnames? The Greek society is a relevant case here.

Greece has a slightly similar modern history with Nigeria’s. They’ve had a civil war, nearly a decade of military dictatorship and years of repression of civil liberty and rights. In 1975 when the junta was removed and democracy returned, the new government formed a new set of laws considered to be among the most progressive in Europe. This period coincided with the rise of feminism in Greece. More women were getting to top positions in government and in the society, and feminists began to push for more gender equality. So in 1983 the government made a law that all women must keep their birth name for life. This was seen as freedom for Greek women and is still so today.

Until recently, a Greek couple travelling abroad to a conservative country might have to bring along their marriage certificate in case they need to prove to officials that they’re actually married. For this perceived inconvenience, the Greek government amended the marriage law so that a woman can now take her husband’s name if SHE wants to, and providing that she adds it to her birth name.

Dr Franca Attoh, a sociologist at the University of Lagos, predicts, “Society is dynamic and our society is changing very fast. For instance, before now people didn’t use compound names, but people now do that. It’s a step in the direction of surname retention. As the society develops and more women get educated and reach top places in society, the trend will continue, and things will eventually change.”

So will the Nigerian society one day get to that point when it’s normal and even legally required for couples to have separate surnames, like the Greeks?