“Nigerians are yearning and crying for your return…” | Our top 10 quotes from last week

What a week it was! Most of our favourite vocal personalities were on top of their game and a few usually silent ones somehow got enlisted in the gang. Former Vice President, Atiku Abubakar topped headlines throughout the week as he suddenly became very talkative and there are lots of speculations that he might be prepping for a presidential race in 2019.

Outside Nigeria, rapper Kanye West gave full-blown rants at two separate concerts and he’s got everyone talking and wondering about his sanity.

From across the globe, here are our best quotes from last week:

“The cup that we can win is the African Cup of Nations. There is nothing again that will take us to another man’s balcony in the name of the World Cup”.

Sports Minister, Solomon Dalung in an interview with Voice of America said it will be a “waste of money” for Nigeria to participate in the World Cup since we won’t win. Very encouraging!

“I would have voted for Trump”

Here’s how Kanye West lost everything (or maybe, almost) in six words.

“I’ve been sent here to give y’all my truth, even at the risk of my own life. At the risk of my own success. I’ll give y’all the truth. Jay-Z call me bro, you still ain’t called me … Jay Z, I know you got killas. Please don’t send them at my head. Talk to me like a man.”

Rapper, Kanye West bares his mind on his relationship with Jay Z and Beyonce. He takes it a step further by suggesting that Jay Z will be after his life to assassinate him. We’re very worried.

“I think we can consider introducing a negligible telecom surcharge to be entirely borne by the initiator of a call. In order to protect the poor and vulnerable amongst us, we could structure it to only take effect after the third minute of talk. Some analyses have indicated that the government could earn about N100 billion per annum from this alone. Obviously this surcharge will mainly be borne by middle and upper class people since I do not know many poor people who make calls for more than 3 minutes!”

The CBN governor is all out to save Nigeria from the effects of the recession and taxing Nigerians for phone calls longer than 3 minutes is one of the ways the government can generate extra funds. And as he’s rightly put it, poor people don’t stay up to 3 minutes on phone calls so this won’t affect them in any way. Brilliant Emefiele! Just brilliant!!

“Igbo girls are so much cleaner, more respectful, value marriage more, less argumentative and problematic, treat husbands better, are more beautiful, have sexier bodies, are more family oriented, cook better and are much more enterprising than Yoruba ladies”.

Cool FM OAP, Freeze shared his thoughts on Igbo women and how they compare to Yoruba women on Instagram. As usual, many people are not taking this comment lightly.

“My Boko Haram friends accompanied me to a meeting with the leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB), Nnamdi Kanu, drew a ten man security cordon around me when we entered the general population of the prison and waited outside as Nnamdi and I spoke for almost three hours. They even accompanied me to Church on Sunday and waited outside until we finished.”

Femi Fani-Kayode relayed his experience while in detention at Kuje Prison, after his release on Wednesday.

“Obasanjo wanted to be president for life”.

Former Vice President, Atiku Abubakar reveals former president, Olusegun Obasanjo’s covert plan to remove tenure limitations from the constitution.

“When he came to ask me for forgiveness, I said if you want me to forgive you, Nuhu, go to the same television stations where you said I was corrupt and say you now (have) realised that I am not corrupt.”

In the same interview, Atiku Abubakar said of former EFCC Chairman, Nuhu Ribadu.

“The huge demand for our grains in the global market is creating an excellent environment for the mindless export of Nigerian grains across our borders and unless this is curtailed, Nigerian markets will be bereft of food by January next year”.

This has to be the news that made us shudder the most last week. A famine in Nigeria is set to be the last straw and the presidency has done well by warning us beforehand.

“Your Excellency Sir, in less than two years of leaving office, Nigerians are yearning and crying for your return”.

We’re not sure how many Nigerians were consulted before the PDP arrived at this conclusion but here’s how the party wished former President Goodluck Jonathan a happy 59th.

Comments (2)

  1. Comment:our dearly bro jona pls come back for sake of nigerians and we know u love ur country so well pls come and save us

  2. : are you kidding? Which Nigerians? Stop stereotyping Nigerians. Aren’t they the same ppl crying during deplorable #GEJ’s Presidency?

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