by Omar-Farouq Edu
Dear Black People
Have you ever been put in a situation where a remark has been personally directed at you that is so baffling you start to feel superior? I definitely have. A remark so racist that you actually have to laugh and think “WOW!” Is this how your brain actually works? I have been asked or been told so many things in my lifetime at the age of only 25 that it just leaves space of what is more to come. There is a surprising increase of ignorance as days go by and I am pretty sure that this isn’t over. The list may seem pretty simple but the subtext behind these words mean so much more that it starts to become weirdly comedic.
This is all just fun and games and I personally don’t get offended because I see the brighter and humorous side to it. In all fairness, half of my friends are white so I don’t take it to heart since I know they aren’t trying to be malicious.
The Top 10 so far
- “YOU CAN’T EVEN SING”: This may seem like just a normal remark and although you would like it to seem so, don’t be fooled. What this means is they know exactly who Whitney Houston is. The minute she opens up her mouth is the minute suddenly every black person has to have a soulful voice.
- “YOU AREN’T EVEN THAT BLACK”: This is the translation of you have a college degree, well spoken, dressed with quality and also well mannered. They start to call you names like “Coconut” or “Oreo” meaning black on the outside and white on the inside because since when did a black average person have these privileges?
- “I ALSO HAVE A LOT OF BLACK FRIENDS”: The translation of I’m a good person because I also speak to black people too. It’s a way of saying I don’t discriminate but who are you fooling? This is the definition of white men saying I am spiritually charitable.
- “CONGRATULATIONS WITH THE OSCARS”: In the year of 2014, this baffled me for a minute but of course since “black lives matter” White people would want to support anyway they could. They just had do the most extra things to show they care. I had at least 5 congratulations. Why? Lupita Nyongo won the Oscar for Best female supporting actress and 12 years a Slave wins Best Movie. Does it make sense now? Lol
- “2PAC OR NOTORIOUS BIG?”: First of all how did you just assume that I listen to Hip Hop? We didn’t even discuss music, though? If you must know B.I.G all the way so I guess you were onto something but that’s not the point. Slick Rick is still my favourite old school rapper though.
- “I DON’T EVEN SEE COLOUR”: Well clearly you do if you have to point that out to me. To most people this may sound like a positive thing but it really isn’t. I want people to see colour because if you don’t then it’s like you are unaware of racism. You need to see the difference and the problem to help make a change. Don’t think you are doing me any favours if you say you can’t see colour. You are doing the complete opposite.
- “IF THERE WAS A WHITE HISTORY MONTH, YOU GUYS WOULD THINK IT’S RACIST”: We ask for one month and people hit the ceiling. If we ask for one month you guys still have 11 to make it all about yourselves so why are you complaining?
- “I DON’T WANT TO SOUND RACIST BUT …”: Why do people always say stuff like this knowing they are going to say something racist. They think that the fact they cleared it up with the sentence above clears them out. It’s like when someone says ‘no offense’ but they know and you know straight up they are about to offend you.
- “CAN I TOUCH YOUR HAIR?”: Before I can even respond your greasy hands are all over my hair but I’m sure you saw my stank face when you asked. Why ask if you are going to do it anyway?
- “YOU AREN’T EVEN THAT VIOLENT”: Lol, that’s what you think but keep pushing my buttons till we get to that point.
Omar-Farouk, 25, has a Bachelor’s in Drama/Creative Writing for Kingston University London and a Master’s in Acting for Film in New York and Los Angeles. He has a few short stories and poetry under his belt, as well as IMDB credits for two American movies. He also landed a scene in Nigerian production, The CEO and is presently building his personal magazine. His IG handle is farouqedu
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