by Omena Daniels

The tricky thing about womanizers and commitment phobic brothers is that they usually have their game down pat, which means it’s easy to get sucked in. They seem totally sweet and charming on the surface — who’d ever guess they were secretly scoundrels? So to help you sharpen your man-whore radar, we narrowed down the more subtle clues a guy has a case of commitment phobia. If he exhibits three or more of these, watch out.

1. All of His Exes Are “Crazy” 

Be wary of a man who refers to his former girlfriends as crazy, psycho, or clingy — because what’s the common denominator here? Him. The dude’s either looney-bin glue, or he never really wanted the relationship to work in the first place.

2. He Plans Ultra-Romantic Dates
A cozy candlelit dinner is nice and all, but if he only takes you to secluded places, it could be a tip-off that he doesn’t want other women to spot him on a date. Next time he asks you out, suggest hitting up a busy restaurant or popular bar and see how he reacts.

3. He’s Hot and cold on the Phone
He’ll text you 10 times in a night, and then go MIA for days. He’ll chat on the phone for an hour, and then ignore your messages for the rest of the week. Wondering what the hell is going on? We’re going to be brutally honest: He’s mostly likely busy dating other women.

Even though a player’s bros may be friendly enough, they probably won’t ask you many personal questions about your job, interests, etc. The ugly truth: They don’t want to invest time and energy getting to know you because they figure you’re not going to be around very long.

4. He Guilt-Trips You
It’s normal for a guy to be jonesing to sleep with you from day one. But this behavior is a red flag if he a) lays the pressure on thick, or b) tries to make you feel bad if you choose not to have sex — like by giving you a sob story about blue balls.

5. Stuff Is Missing from His Facebook Profile
Has he untagged any photos of you and him? Does he post updates often, yet never mention hanging out with you? Is his relationship status hidden? We smell a rat. A guy who’s leery of commitment will make sure there are no traces of you on his page.

6. His Buddies Act Distant
Even though a player’s bros may be friendly enough, they probably won’t ask you many personal questions about your job, interests, etc. The ugly truth: They don’t want to invest time and energy getting to know you because they figure you’re not going to be around very long.

7. He Says You’re Soul Mates
Okay, we adore the idea of love at first sight — but too much too soon could also indicate sketchy intentions. If a dude comes on super strong right off the bat (we’re talking the first couple of weeks), telling you things like that he’s starting to fall in love with you, just make sure you play it safe and trust your gut. Those powerful words might be rolling off his tongue so smoothly because he’s spoken them so many times before.

8. He is no longer keen on giving you directions

Blokes usually love to guide and guard the woman they love. When your man all of a sudden becomes reticent, always backing down from an argument and offering very little advice on anything, it could be an indication that he has given up on the relationship and is just buying time or seeking out the best exit.

BITE SIZE

THE FRIEND ZONE

Beautiful women often confine nice guys to the Friend Zone. A nice guy’s worst nightmare is hearing those nine soul-crushing words, “But I think of you as just a friend.” Many happy couples have built relationships on the bedrock of solid friendship, so perhaps it may be wise to rethink what makes good partner material and be open to finding it from unexpected sources. Which brings up the question: Can men and women truly be friends? Yes, but only if neither of them has any romantic interest in the other. If even one of them is harboring hopes of romance, the friendship will reach critical mass sooner rather than later, at which point the friendship must either dissolve or transition into a relationship.

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.

 

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.