Opinion: A letter to my ex-lover

By Grace Festus

Jude is a promising young guy; he is a first class graduate of Mass communications and he has lot of dreams for the future. One of his goals is to be a successful on air personality (OAP). Getting the right job however seems difficult as he has to be joggling between one to the other. One of the bright sides of his life is his fiancée, Judith. Her daily phone calls always make his day colorful and he always look forward to it. Judith has however changed a bit since some days back, she rarely pick when he calls and she always sound not too excited at the sound of Jude’s voice. He would have paid her a visit to know the reason for the sudden change in her attitude but she is miles away observing her National Youth service Corps (NYSC).

Jude got a call from one of the best radio station in town to come for an interview for the post of on air personality (OAP) and as he puts everything in place on the morning of the interview, he got a call from his beloved Judith. This must be a great luck for his interview, hearing from his wife-to-be. Judith announced to him right there on the phone that she’s no longer in love with him and that they should give their relationship a permanent break because she has moved on.

It was a rude shock for Jude but he has to put himself together for his interview. He will deal with the issue later. It wasn’t easy for him to get composed. His heart was divided, interview on his mind, heartbreak ripping him apart on the other hand. It was his turn to be interviewed, he sat in front of the panelists and was asked to do one thing…..”You are the radio host for a popular relationship program on air, can you please give a brief introduction to today’s episode of the program”…..that was the task.

And here’s Jude response to his test, “Earlier this morning, my girlfriend, best friend and lover broke our relationship of two beautiful years at a time I need her most in my life; I am here with a heavy heart yet I have you my audience waiting for me so I have brace up because life continues. Now I wonder how I can balance life with this heartbreak and other goals I need to accomplish. Today I want to hear your views about how you handled previous heartbreaks in your relationship, let’s learn from you. We also have a Relationship Coach in the house….I, your host Judah Best will be right back after the commercials…”

The panelists were ‘wowed’….he got the job on the spot with lot of mouth watering benefits. His life changed on the day he was jilted. Within six months, he was in high demand as MC and live show host even in higher institutions. It was one of these days that he received a call from Judith, she wants to come back into his life…..

Jude really loved Judith and he still has feelings for her but she actually left him for someone else once…she left when he needed her most and now she wants to come back…. She is probably making a comeback because of his current status….

Our Ex is our past. It could also be a dirty habit we left, a pitfall we survived from or weakness we had overcome. Seriously, you are married but there is this old flame that used to know the password to set your body on fire…. Just a call from her and you are already undressing her in your mind…To make the matter worse, she is ready to go on a date with you. You’ve got to take control of the ‘lust’ least it lead you to an early grave. Lot of married people made a total mess of their beautiful future because they gave entrance to an Ex into their lives. Some attractions are for your destruction; so beware!

Stop having a hangover over an Ex who has nothing to offer than heartaches. He/she walked out because he/she believes you are not good enough. Don’t stay around someone who only tolerate you but never celebrates you. Jonah (in the bible) had to do away with his ‘over-sleeping’ habit before he could fulfill God’s purpose for his life. Dis-engage from anything that will weigh you down from advancing into the future. You may need to stop picking that call or probably delete that contact from your phonebook or blackberry. You may have to block that follower on twitter that keeps sending you nude pictures. You have the power to prevent yourself from sleeping on the laps of Delilah least you end up like Samson.

I once dated a guy who could walk in any time of the day to declare that our relationship was over. Each time this happened, I would cry and become very devastated only for him to come back few weeks or days later begging on his knees that his life would be meaningless without me. Going by my love for him, I accept him back easily only for him to repeat his folly few weeks later. This went on and on, the more it repeats itself, the more I became an emotional wreck. In about our one year courtship,the relationship got ‘broken’ and ‘repaired’ like seven times until I said it was enough. I told him that although I have forgiven him but I have discovered that he is not emotionally matured to handle relationships for now least he makes a mess of my life. I told him I can no longer trust him with my heart because he has no good track records.

Any man/woman that takes pleasure in making you cry is not worthy to have you. Let me put it this way, if your partner toys with your emotions, then s/he cannot be your spouse.

Seriously, if the ‘bad’ that you Ex has to offer outweighs the ‘good’….don’t open the door of your heart to him or her again.

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Op–ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija

Written by Grace Festus for www.embodimentofgrace.com

One comment

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