by Uche Osuji

 

…he should go a step further: to tell his baby mama that having a baby in the toilet has never been a celebrity event!

One was in China. The other in Nigeria, Ife precisely. Two babies born in similar circumstances — in the toilet. Both are boys and their mothers, first timers in their early 20s.  At first, the world was aghast with the news of the babies’ births and, of course, angry with their mothers thinking that they were nursing the ungodly thought of trying to flush their “unwanted” babies down the toilet since it emerged that both had conceived out of marriage. In both cases, fortunately, it turned out that it was a sincere error committed by neophyte mamas. (An error experts in the field admit could happen to even experienced mothers). In fact, the baby in the China incident went down the toilet pipe. Soldiers and firefighters were called in for the rescue mission. The world watched with bathed breath as the rescuers meticulously cut the pipe open to save the tender, crying baby. A lot of people round the world cried with him but it was all tears of joy. Later, the world followed him to the hospital where he was in an intensive care unit for a few days before being discharged.  Bringing a very happy ending to what started as a very tense situation.  Also in the Ife incident, there were cleaners who were on hand for the rescue. Later, the boy landed in the hospital and eventually things worked out nicely.  Both joyful stories that anyone can connect to, whether in China or Nigeria. Sad to say, though, that the similarities between the two births ended with the mode of delivery and happy ending. In terms of information management, while the one in China was very carefully and successfully managed all the way down, the one in Nigeria has been a disaster, to say the least, all the way down.

First, the mothers involved. The name of the Chinese mother was never mentioned. Of course, she was well-known by all the necessary people involved, yet none of the news networks that beamed their spotlight on the incident was allowed to get her name. Her face too was never shown. Never. Not from the first time when the news broke till the very last time that the baby left the hospital.  In fact, the police were called in initially when a foul play was suspected but after their investigation, they termed it what it was: An error without pressing charges. But who was the suspect? They never told anyone. They never paraded her. They respected and guarded the woman’s privacy despite the circumstances of the pregnancy and delivery. What has happened in Nigeria (Ife) will make you weep. Everyone is talking. Worst of all, the mother, who should have been helped and advised to be a little more circumspect considering the entire circumstances of this baby’s birth.  Yes, she has the right to talk but sometimes silence can truly be golden like the worn adage says. She is not the first woman to give birth to a child in the loo. That mistake has happened to not a few women before her and they all shrugged it off and moved on. Why is she hugging the toilet-baby-mama tag? I very well can imagine that the Chinese baby mama was helped to keep her mouth shut! Why hasn’t someone, who should know better, done the same for this lady that everyone now knows her marital status, first name, middle name, surname, where she hails from, course of study, and level, etc. What a shame! What a pity!

What happens when a woman goes into labour in the market? Other women will immediately mobilise, shield her, assist with the delivery, and more importantly, keep the matter there. Except those who were privy to it, no one hears about it like there was an unwritten code so that mother and child could go home to live in peace. This young Ife mother should have been helped similarly. Yes, this is the age of social media and all. Things that go online stay online and hang there. Yet, all those devices for social media are managed by people.

One of the funniest comments I have heard about this incident is that it is not an offence for undergraduates to have babies. True, undergraduates can have babies but parents send their children to school to study not to make babies, to use their pocket money for academic pursuits instead of using them to buy nappies and formula.  I doubt if the incident would have raised as much uproar if the lady had been married. Really, there are several married pregnant undergraduate women and that is no problem. So, that comment should have just been left off.

The next issue, and perhaps the most disastrous of all, is putting the baby in the spotlight. I am never too quick to write letters to newspapers but for this reason I just couldn’t resist it.

In some countries, the baby’s face or photograph would never have been shown to the world. Law or self-regulation would have required it. True, the baby in the China incident was shown but it wasn’t as if it was a photo-op or a red carpet event. Above all, he was never named. He was simply referred to as Baby 5 or something (I am not sure again. It was not important) according to his wrist band. And when he was discharged, he was handed over to his family far from the city, without fanfare, so he can live quietly in peace and calm without unnecessary recourse to the circumstances of his birth. In Nigeria what do we get?  Every Okeke, Okafor, Okonkwo is suggesting names. The child has actually been named officially as if to seal it all up – to put a name to the face of the toilet baby. How so sad!

I am sure that there are people who should know better all around the place.  It is a university community after all. Perhaps, the school’s information management system should have done a lot better job. This was one great opportunity to rise to the occasion, if for no one else but the baby, and yet it was blown. So marvellously! Spare the baby this infamy. It is unnecessary and very avoidable. Please. The poor baby doesn’t deserve it!

“The baby delivered in the toilet of Moremi Hostel…” was how a journalist started a piece on the baby with pictures of both baby and mother. Now, imagine a features writer going to follow up one year after.  Perhaps, ‘“The baby delivered in the toilet of Moremi Hostel…” is now one’ will be the way he or she will start again! And five or 10 years down the line? Will the mother continue to talk to the media about the child she had “in the toilet of Moremi Hostel” by then?

Commendably, the baby’s father has shunned publicity and the attendant controversy, which is good for him (His counterpart in China was never even named). But he should go a step further: to tell his baby mama that having a baby in the toilet has never been a celebrity event!

And that mum should actually be the word, if for no reason else, for their new son who is entitled to his right to privacy.

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Read this article in the Punch Newspapers

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.