Opinion: Dear Gov. Fayose, is everything alright?

by Femi Owolabi

Fayose

The [crass] foolishness of Governor Fayose is too much burden on the sensibilities of the sons and daughters of Ekiti.

In Ekiti, where I proudly hail from, when somebody’s behavior seems funny, irrational and that would become irredeemable, you pinch or slap the person and ask him, ‘Awe, ihun ai lora e?’ Guy, are you well? Are you okay? Are you insane? Are you mad? The expression, ihun ai lora re? is simply to check whether this person is still with his senses.

Once, as we caroused at a local joint in Ekiti, I took my sara beyond the Mosalasi. What does that mean? After I had emptied two and a half bottles of Guinness, two of Heineken, One of Trophy, I beckoned the bar woman to serve me another bottle of Orijin. My friend, seated beside me and on whose pocket the ‘beering’ galore was declared, pulled me by the collar of my shirt. It is only you that wants Guinness, it is only you that wants Heineken, it is only you that wants Trophy, and again, Orijin. Awe, ihun ai lora re?! he screamed.  The number of bottles that he would pay for wasn’t the issue. The varieties of alcoholic contents entering into a system at one sitting were what seemed abnormal.

Last year, when Ayodele Fayose emerged winner at the Ekiti Governorship Polls, a friend told us to watch it; that in the next four years, Ekiti State would be the place where journalists would get more controversial news. Of course, the friend arrived at this, judging by how Fayose’s 2003-2006 reign was characterized by controversies that he was eventually, disgracefully, kicked out of office. I told the friend to keep shut, for he knows not what he is saying. Fayose is a changed man. He confessed this himself. And there were reports that he had gone round to meet and beg for forgiveness from all the elders he had wronged during his first reign. In many gatherings that I meet people discussing Fayose, I would add to the discussion; how Fayose could now a changed man whose new administration would be controversy-free.

Yes, I would give Fayose that benefit of doubt until we began to read in the news; Fayose slapped a judge, Fayose impeached the State House speaker, Fayose did this, Fayose did that. Despite all of these things, I still declined the request from an editor friend to write an op-ed article on these seeming controversies. I remember telling him that I am counting, and would only write when Fayose’s ‘atrocities’ reach seven.

Unfortunately, even if you wash the Ebolo leaf with the fragrantly-rich Klin detergent, that leaf would still reek of bushes. I would wake this morning, January 19, 2015, to the most stupid thing Ayodele Fayose would ever do in his entire lifetime. When Fayose’s SA on Social Media, Lere Olayinka, sent the picture—proposing Buhari’s death– in a WhatsApp broadcast message, I never knew it was much more than that. Olayinka is fond of sending many silly broadcast messages about Buhari. On daily basis, I receive at least five of those and I seldom respond. It was him who, last Saturday, first sent me the ‘Breaking News;’ [fake] medical report that Buhari suffers prostate cancer. ‘When you kill Buhari, don’t also forget to broadcast his death certificate o,’ I told him, and he sent me a smiley. I have asked Olayinka many times, why can’t you people promote Jonathan with his achievements rather than all these silly things you talk about Buhari? Worrying even is the fact that it is from our [Ekiti State] money that Olayinka is being paid to buy data on his phone to broadcast these nonsensical messages. And the sycophancy they serve their principal would kill him faster than Ebola. Once, Olayinka sent us a broadcast message that his master, Fayose, said that Adams Oshiomhole, the go-and-die governor, should not add his mouth in the crisis rocking the Ekiti State House of Assembly. The following morning, however, we read in the news that, “Governor Fayose tendered unreserved apology to the Governor of Edo State, Adams Oshiomhole, for the actions of some of his aides who might have, out of zealousness, disrespected or dragged the person of the governor of Edo State in the issues of Ekiti House of Assembly matters that does not concern him in some of the national dailies.” I expected Olayinka to also send his usual broadcast message on this development. He never did.

I digress. And this morning after seeing Olayinka’s broadcast, I quickly reacted. All men’s lives are in God’s hand, I told him. And Abacha, Muhammed, Yar’Adua weren’t even 72 when they died. Nor did they die because they were northerners as the broadcast he sent suggests. Jonathan can die tomorrow. Fayose can die this minute. Anybody can die anytime. I never knew it was a sponsored ad on the cover page of one of the leading newspapers in Nigeria, The Punch, until around 10:00am when I strolled to the newsstand by the junction of my street. I was literally shaking as I held the paper in my hand. What is this?! Quickly, I reached Olayinka on WhatsApp; ‘And you guys in Governor Fayose’s media team allowed him to use this in the dailies?! You allowed him to enter the market with his naked body?!’ The burden of that disappointment was too much that I almost broke into tears. Minutes later, a friend of mine from faraway Abia State sent me this, “Since Fayose emerged, he has brought only shame and ridicule to your State. Go and see what people are saying about him and your State on the internet because of that ad on Punch newspaper.” I could only slap my head.

One evening, about eight years ago, my mum, an aunt, Mama-Ikole, my septuagenarian grandma, and I sat in my mum’s room to discuss Mama’s health. Mama wasn’t feeling too fine at the time.

And jokingly, my aunt and mum asked Mama for her recent photograph. Mama, feeling uneasy, sighed. And then, she asked, “Ehen, you people are already looking for a photo to use for my obituary abi?”

We all laughed. I have spoken with Mama today. The strength of her voice assures me Mama will live a hundred and more. Eight years after her daughters had, jokingly albeit, thought her game was up, she is now more than ever so hale. When last did Fayose visit the elder statesman, Afe Babalola, in Ado-Ekiti? Baba Afe at eighty is still bouncing!

And when I was expecting Governor Fayose, like he did with the case of Oshiomhole, to come out and rebuke his zealous aides for sponsoring such stupid ad with State’s money in his name, the broadcast now making the rounds is that Fayose, on EKTV, says he has no regrets on his death-for-Buhari ad and that Buhari cannot live up to seventy-five years.

Ha! One should cease from being an indigene of this State till Fayose is no more the governor. The [crass] foolishness of Governor Fayose is too much burden on the sensibilities of the sons and daughters of Ekiti.

It is you who [reportedly] slapped a judge. It is you who influenced the kangaroo impeachment of the Speaker because he’s of the opposition party. It is you who sacked a Permanent Secretary because she refused to mobilize workers in her Ministry to attend Jonathan’s campaign rally in Ekiti. It is you, while haranguing at the PDP regional meeting in Akure, said the election must be a do or die affair.

And if at 72, a man is still able to fly around Nigeria to campaign,  and you took millions of naira from the State’s coffers to sponsor an ad—wishing and proclaiming death on this presidential candidate of the opposition party, we should ask you, Gomina Fayose, ihun ai lora re ni?!

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Femi Owolabi tweets from @FemiOwolabi

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

 

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