Standing on the second floor of my school building that hot afternoon, I saw my dad walking to the principal’s office. Now, I was one of those students that stayed out of trouble for the most part; so you can imagine my shock as he had given me no prior notice of visiting. Surely, a few minutes later, I was summoned. Guess what? He had come to school with a new jamb form so I could change my course from Architecture to Computer Engineering.

“Huh, seriously?”, I thought.

Being a civil engineering contractor he explained that he’d seen too many an architect reduced to rubbles just to get a design job on site.

“Lai lai, my son will not do that”, he thought. (Emphasis on “my son” – not me)

What did I know at the time? Fear of pop coupled with the fact that I believed there was no course I could not pursue convinced me to shift from what I naturally liked to what I thought I could do. How wrong I was!

Fast forward 8yrs – I graduate as a computer engineer from one of the most challenging university environments known to man – LASU!

What did I know? – Nada!

What could I do? – a whole lot other than anything I was forced to load up to stack up grades in school.

I used to hate LASU for my apparent discontent with life but that was misplaced. Then I hated pop for the same reason but that was also misplaced. The man did what he thought was best for his son at the time. Not me O – his son. But not his fault, he belongs to a generation that took most of their decisions based on a myriad of prejudices and insecurities. Above all they manipulated us mostly so we become like the societal figures they most admired.

Fast forward another 3 years, my son arrives. Before birthing the kid, wifey and I agree not to put any pressure on the lad in terms of class position – he can come any position but last. We also agree not to manipulate or influence his career choice but instead to identify his talent/strengths and invest heavily there in. This is the “best” that we want to give the boy. He is our son, but first he is an individual with his own race to run. The best legacy we can give him is to equip him well enough for this life race; not the rat race.

When parents say I want to give my child the best education – what do they really mean? More often than not, they mean I will send my child to the most expensive school I can possibly afford. However, what should they mean? A parent should give a child – not their child – the best education in line with the child’s natural ability. Parents need to first shed the toga of selfishness and see the child as an individual with unique abilities and characteristics. In this light, it will be easier to invest in what that individual can do.

The biggest challenge facing my generation as we become parents is to have a paradigm shift from our folks (the generation before ours). I can bet I was schooled because kasali, who is a mechanic down the road, did not go to school. So my folks figured he failed because he lacked formal education. What they fail to realise is that in a different place; and different time, kasali – albeit lacking formal education – could have become the very best mechanic he could be.

What am I saying in essence, I have agreed with wifey that our son must finish secondary education at the very least but afterwards we will only support whatever he chooses to become – concert pianist, chef, biker etc. We do not want to contribute to the rat race the way everyone seem to be doing. We want a child who will be happy making money from his natural God-given abilities. We owe him this much. You owe yours this much. They should not die with their talent/potentials the way we seem to be dying with ours.
————————-