by Cheta Nwanze

The thing is that the army isn’t listening. Rather, they are fighting back. On the streets of Lagos that is. But then denying what they have done on the pages of newspapers, and leaving us nonplussed in the process with some of the choice quotes they have come up with. 

Like a Brazilian footballer taking to the field against a German juggernaut, our army has in a manner of speaking, taken a battering in recent times. The punches have been so strong, that we now have a situation where, ex-governors who could not keep the peace in their states, feel the need to give tips on how to end the #BokoHaram insurgency.

The thing is that the army isn’t listening. Rather, they are fighting back. On the streets of Lagos that is. But then denying what they have done on the pages of newspapers, and leaving us nonplussed in the process with some of the choice quotes they have come up with. “The Nigerian Army is a professional force which is law-abiding like any other citizen,” shrilled Army parrot, Lt. Col Ochagwuba, while a few hundred kilometres away, some young maidens closed in on a hundred days in captivity.

Yes, it’s almost a century of days since those young maidens were taken into the night, and we have no word on when they will be coming home. At least we now know that they are in rude health. But since we clearly can’t rely on Army Parrots for this information, well, we have to listen to assorted spiritual leaders, whatever that means.

Love life, live healthy

Bits and Bobs

Those attempting to leave Lagos yesterday faced a torrid time. Traffic. Induced by security concerns. Kind like that being faced by those in Lagos this morning.

But I could accuse the Americans of being discriminatory with their new edict. How do you expect Nigerians to have power in their phone batteries?

Speaking of military chaps, well ex-military for those of you who are pedantic, and the Bigot has put aside his distaste for the Prez to save the one thing that really matters to him.

Meanwhile, despite mounting evidence of the Bigot’s indiscretions, the Turbans in Adamawa don’t want to interrupt the gravy train.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.