Oyindamola Affinnih: After the long pause (30 Days, 30 Voices)

Everything seemed so organized. My life seemed almost perfect. I was doing so many things at the same time and shining until the pause

I had a good start. I began writing immediately after secondary school. Though I set off out of boredom, I was lucky to have the stories published with HINTS T&B series. It felt cool seeing the magazines everywhere; on stands, shops and in salons. I felt like letting everyone know I wrote it. It was my first attempt and I already got published, twice. There was no reason not to be excited.

And then I got into college. It was Mass communication and very much in line with what I wanted after I realized this new passion in writing would suffer if I studied Law. While in uni, there was no stopping the flow. I enrolled in a speech training school because of my love for broadcasting. Tough as it was, especially since it clashed with school work, I ran the two months with no hitches. Then I ran a column every Thursday on a Nigerian newspaper. I remember how much joy it was seeing my byline.

It didn’t take for so long before I dived into script-writing in my year II. I took a new novel I had just written to a famous TV producer for sale. He had explained my inexperience in the art and therefore taught me the skill. Sooner, I was writing Kamson&Neighbours, a sit-com that ran for years on most TV stations. From the comfort of writing in my space, I tried actually being on a film production set, working as the director’s eye while supervising scripts and monitoring dialogue on set. It was  stimulating. I was also working as a programme presenter in a radio station in Ibadan. Everything seemed so organized. My life seemed almost perfect. I was doing so many things at the same time and shining until the pause.

Initially, I thought it was child-birth. But a year after, two… nothing! I couldn’t bring myself to compose, learn or even write. I couldn’t understand what had gone wrong. I was in the middle of a thought-provoking crime fiction novel. I’d had the entire story all mapped out and miserably I just couldn’t put the words out on paper. I was frustrated. I stopped reading. I lost interest in almost everything. With each passing day, I felt myself sinking lower. Everyone was outshining me and I wasn’t doing anything. I couldn’t even, for the life of me, do my regular short stories! This had gone beyond a reasonable case of ‘writer’s block’. It was a major standstill. Gone were the days where I didn’t even have to think it before I started typing. Now, after quiet times of thinking and jotting, I couldn’t get a decent story put together.And so I waited. I sought for help and irrespective of how long and frustrating that pause was, I got my breakthrough.

I couldn’t even believe how sudden it all came rushing back. The very slow process suddenly got too fast to handle. I picked up a manuscript I had been working on and watched it grow into a book, break into the market and become an item people read and recommended.

I reflected on the time my life took an intermission. How worried and irritated I was. How I still kept trying even though I didn’t succeed immediately. I remember, out of restlessness, trying other things and not accomplishing. I remember how many times I thought I was the one jinxing every project, weighing who and who not to tell about any new development for fear of messing it all up.

And then I learnt, that the fear was imaginary, that the reason we sometimes take long pauses is because the time isn’t right. Whenever we work towards a goal and it’s not achieved, it’s probably not the right path. Then will you realize that when you have started well, forged ahead, tested grounds, gotten honest recommendations and reviews, a pause like that is really no big deal. It’s just what is. A break!

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30 Days 30 Voices series is an opportunity for young Nigerians to share their stories and experiences with other young Nigerians, within our borders and beyond, to inspire and motivate them.

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Comments (4)

  1. I believed in you like the blast, I still do. I await to read you again……………

  2. I believed in you like the blast, I still do. I await to read you again…………….

  3. It was just a big Break to energize u more nd to get more inspired about life so u ll BLAZE out MUCH better like a WILD FIRE……….well done!

    I loved d series of Kamsons$Neighbour,I need more.

    Can u write 4 me on d STORY OF MY LIFE/MY JOURNEY TO BREAKTHROUGH?

    Contact me on [email protected]

  4. you write well. keep it up……..after the break of course.

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