I think Mr. President should just tell us the truth, Christmas is round the corner, and money is needed to buy hampers. We won’t get angry, we are Nigerians.

How una dey? As things are, the Presidential blackmail is on in full swing. Yesterday, the President presented a supplementary budget to the National Assembly seeking an extra N161 billions so that we will not have the pleasure of queuing up for petrol during this Christmas. Don’t worry about the extra money my Prez, we are already used to queuing, or in the alternative, fulfilling our petrol addiction from those boys who sell the stuff just beside empty filling stations. Personally, I think Mr. President should just tell us the truth, Christmas is round the corner, and money is needed to buy hampers. We won’t get angry, we are Nigerians.

But then again, Nigerians are capable of getting angry, especially when we are hit in the pocket as patients in LUTH are about to discover. Annoyed over a new tax deduction which would rather than go to better roads, or hospitals, go to yet another set of Christmas hampers, doctors in that institution have withdrawn their services. I guess that this latest doctor’s strike in Lagos would help accelerate the case of former Don, Wale Babalakin who had taken the liberty of checking himself into that institution with some unnamed malady.

At the very least though, the strike in LUTH will mean that the erstwhile Kogi state I-am-that-I-am will not have the option of taking up the bed next to Babalakin in LUTH’s private ward the day after escaping from the EFCC by the skin of his teeth. The former governor had tried to go down the well worn route of thwarting justice, but unfortunately realised, maybe a little too late that im levels no reach. Since the Supreme Court decided that he should face trial, and LUTH (with its private wards) is on strike, Abubakar Audu decided to take another route. He jumped out of a window…

Sadly, and quite distressingly, jumping out of a window is not an option available to Prof. Kamene Okonjo, given her age. Forty eight hours after Delta state governor, Uduaghan promised that she would be recovered “within 24 hours”, the kidnappers have finally gotten in touch. They have asked that her daughter, NOI, our Minister of the Economy, either bring the fuel subsidy money, or the sum of N200 millions. I guess they had not heard about the supplementary budget request as of the time of the phone call.

Bits and bobs

Despite his best efforts to have them thrown out, the Federal High Court sitting in Abuja yesterday told serving Senator, Ali Ndume, that records of phone calls and text messages between himself and Boko Haram members will be used as evidence against him. Three things that are clear, the Senator will not resign, the Senator will try and get the case adjourned for the next ten years, and if that fails, the Senator will be admitted into LUTH.

Despite the fact that there was a “partial removal of fuel subsidy” in January, the President (still on that issue) has told us that the cost of fuel subsidies have gone up even more. I admit to using more petrol in 2012. The power situation got worse in the second half of the year, so my generator was a lot more active, poor thing.

Determined not to be outdone by Paul Biya, fellow countryman Isa Hayatou has schemed his challenger out of the way. The 66 year old is apparently the only person in a continent of over a billion souls that has the vision to run our football. It’s too early in the day, but permit me to go and get drunk.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.