by Sagay Sagay

Anike was barely 6 when she was sexually assaulted by a man. She endured the physical pain for several weeks, her emotional pains were yet to heal more than 20 years after. Justice for the idiot who defiled her? Not around here! He was a relative and the issue was better swept under the carpet so as not to “break the family’.

She was about 22 when I met her. She could not even think about dating any man because of the hurt she still felt. Her parents assumed stitches to the tears on her genitals were all that was required to make her heal. They were very wrong.

 

There’s Koto at Ile-Ife, Asas brothel at Molete in Ibadan and several other joints at Ekotedo in Ibadan. Ile-Eru is there in Lagos, there’s One Church close to Agege, Love Garden at Abule-Egba. You know what? For as low as N500.00, you could have satisfying (?) sex.

 

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Tawa is 8, she stays in Ibadan. Sometime last year, she was sent on errand to a man in her neighbourhood. The old fool in his late 30’s or early 40’s defiled the innocent girl, and went ahead to place some mysterious charm on her such that the girl could not tell her parents. She was told that if she ever told anyone, she would die. Though the girl intended to tell her parents she completely forgot! Sounds strange? Yes, her mind was in bondage.

She couldn’t even remember the event until six months after her family had moved out of the neigbourhood. She told her parents and a mysterious illness struck her.Medical diagnosis is yet to state what is wrong with her but she’s dying.

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Foluke Daramola, the popular Yoruba actress, was 18 when a tenant living in her parents’ house raped her. You know what? The guy never went to jail for that. From the interview granted to the Punch Newspapers as published on 19th January 2013, the hurt in Foluke’s mind is still there. Her parents were persuaded to “keep quiet about it”.

The comments that trailed the interview however almost moved me to tears. This may be because I have close friends who are victims of rape. Someone wrote that she was looking for cheap publicity for coming out to tell her story while another wrote that she was at a wrong place at a wrong time. One idiot (please permit me to use that word, I have not used it in a long time) even wrote this: “There is nothing wrong in raping. After-all the girls do enjoy it”.

Another fellow wrote this:

“Any lady walking in the street naked, is inviting smart and ready guys to rape her. Foluke should go to a good hospital to check her h.i.v status.”

There are comments I can’t even put here!

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Earlier today, I saw tweets flying around about indecent dressing of girls being the reason why they are raped. While I wouldn’t call anyone clamouring for a check on indecent dressing a rapist, I strongly believe it is wrong for such a statement to be made.

There has never been and there will never be a justification for rape. It was wrong yesterday, it is wrong today and it will forever be. While I totally condemn indecent dressing, it shouldn’t even be brought up in the discussion of rape. It can never be a justification.

Discussions about indecent dressing and other ways girls can protect themselves should only be for girls. Dressing decently, avoiding being alone with a man you don’t know, not allowing a man to get ideas if you are not ready to have anything with him are some of the steps a girl can take to protect herself.

It doesn’t lie in the mouth of a man to say he was tempted because of what he saw; or that he might be tempted to rape a woman who isn’t “properly” dressed.

Any such argument about “provoked rape” is like an armed robber saying he attacks rich people because they “flaunt” their wealth. It is like a corrupt Minister saying the billions of naira he handles in the Ministry tempts him into stealing. Even Ibori wasn’t bold enough to come up with such justification before the UK court that convicted him.

It is important to note that most rape victims can’t even be said to be guilty of the “offence of improper dressing” when they were raped. What indecent dressing would a 9 year-old have committed? Debo Adejugbe and others have been trying to encourage victims to tell their stories and what led to most of the stories we have read couldn’t have been indecent dressing due to the plans some of the perpetrators implemented.

How many naked mad women have been raped? If the rapist are scared that madness could be transferred through sex, maybe they should be assured that madness is not as “wicked” as HIV after all. If they are still not sure, they should use a condom!

It is sad when people blame victims of crimes rather than punish the culprits. It reminds me of a funny saying about Ibadan people. When your item is stolen and you complain, they will tell you “iwona se wa fi sibeun?”

“Why did you put it there?”

Let me address men who feel girls that dress indecently should be taught a lesson.

Bros, I understand that it is not your fault but for that thing in-between your legs. Let’s call it John Thomas from here.

If the girls won’t stop their indecent dressing – it’s not certain you’ll win this war against them – can we do something about your John Thomas? The way it is, you go rape tire o.

These girls are everywhere. You will rape in your office; they are there. You will rape on the street; too many of them are always on the road. You will rape your female cousins too; assuming your John Thomas will be shy to strike your own sisters.

In case you don’t know, most of us also have John Thomases that come to action when we see these girls so you are not alone. It’s just that we only take it upon ourselves to be in control. If we think we must get under, we talk to them. At times it works, at times it doesn’t. After all, we win some, we lose some or even draw some.

Instead of making your John Thomas go through all this stress, why don’t we put John Thomas to rest? A simple surgical procedure will do this.

Then aren’t you scared that the indecently dressed lady could report you to the Police and you could end up spending up to 14 years in jail? Don’t be deceived by the poor conviction rate here, things could improve. There are a lot of mad women out there who will be too busy to report to the Police anyway. How will someone who is too busy to comb her hair have time for the Police?

It appears you also don’t know that sex is not as expensive as it is always portrayed. Allen Avenue, Bodija, Wuse Zone 4, Cedi Plaza and Law School bus stop could be a bit expensive but there are far cheaper places.

There’s Koto at Ile-Ife, Asas brothel at Molete in Ibadan and several other joints at Ekotedo in Ibadan. Ile-Eru is there in Lagos, there’s One Church close to Agege, Love Garden at Abule-Egba. You know what? For as low as N500.00, you could have satisfying (?) sex.

If you can’t afford that, bros wank the shit off!

* This article was first published last year

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.