by X-Man

If a man is going through things, he wants to believe his woman has his back through thick and thin.  You want to feel beautiful, he wants to feel like a king. 

My male friends and I were talking the other day about marriage.  We don’t talk about it the way women do, fantasizing and getting all excited about our wedding day.  Instead, we talk about it like picking a career – you know you’re going to be stuck with it, it can be enjoyable, but you had better tread lightly or it could end up in disaster.

I thought I’d share with women a few things that my friends said we did NOT want in a wife.  Take it or leave it, but here’s what most of us really do dislike:

1) A high-maintenance woman.  It might be okay to be a little bit of a gold digger, but high maintenance means that nothing is ever good enough.  You buy her something that costs $1,000 dollars, she barely says thank you.  She might also be the kind of emotional black hole who is never satisfied or happy no matter what he says or does to make things better.  That’s draining for men, and flat out horrible.

2) A woman who is bad with kids.  A woman’s beauty is captured in her ability to nurture.  The woman who says “I hate kids” is seen as less of a woman in the eyes of a lot of men.  It also makes her look selfish.

3) A woman who doesn’t support you.  If a man is going through things, he wants to believe his woman has his back through thick and thin.  You want to feel beautiful, he wants to feel like a king.  If he’s ridiculed or his dreams aren’t supported, then he will probably gravitate toward the woman who helps boost his ego, listens to him and encourages him, just like his mother used to do.

4) A woman who emasculates you or doesn’t respect gender roles:  Feminism is nice, but  a lot of hardcore feminists are either gay or single.  You can have power in your household and still allow the man to be a man.  If you’re constantly ordering him around or not respecting his manhood, then he will feel that you don’t need him.  So, the strong, independent woman who “don’t need no man” may lose her man because he is convinced that she “don’t need him” just like she said.

5) Bad in the bedroom.  If you ask a man what time it is, he’s probably going to say, “It’s sexx o’clock.”  Men are physical creatures, and good loving can make a man do pretty much whatever you want.  But being frigid, disinterested, unenthusiastic or not concerned about his physical needs will make other women look that much more inviting.  He definitely won’t want to lock himself into a relationship with you, that’s for sure.  It would be miserable for him.

6) Doesn’t get along with your family.  No man wants to bring home a woman that his family hates; she becomes like a virus.  Smile, be nice, be helpful, try to get along with everyone if you can and that makes him envision you as a regular visitor to his family gatherings.  If you can’t do that, then find another man with a better family.

7) Really mean and overly moody/b_tchy.  Most of my friends hate women who don’t smile or are always mad about everything.  It sucks.  A smiling woman who listens to his problems, tells him that he’s special, has his back and drops it ferociously in the bedroom can get him hooked.  You want to be that woman.

Take it or leave it, this is what we said.  What you do with this information is entirely up to you.

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Read this article in Healthy Black Woman

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.