by Cheta Nwanze

My own little problem with him remains his continued use of Islam to defend his tastes. In all honesty, given that his actions are quite legal, he doesn’t need that mask.

Good morning, and in the Nigerian parlance, happy new month. First off, I want to apologise for the rather long absence. The people who actually pay me decided to put me to good use for a change, and well, the end of the month was around the corner. Now that the pay has hit the account, I can go back to faffing around. Sorry boss.

Speaking of people who spend their time twiddling their thumbs for a living, my favourite Senator, Haji Yerima, seems to be picking up a lot of the headlines recently. In a chat with AIT, he quite reasonably, pointed out that boinking thirteen year old girls is not exactly illegal in our land, something I have repeated quite a lot, The Nigerian Criminal Code in Part III, Chapter 27, Section 281 for those of you who do not know. Yerima went ahead to point out, with quite a stunning degree of accuracy, that boinking 13-year-olds is not illegal in assorted places such as Spain either.

My own little problem with him remains his continued use of Islam to defend his tastes. In all honesty, given that his actions are quite legal, he doesn’t need that mask. But what do I know? And frankly, given the reasonableness displayed in yesterday’s interview, I wouldn’t mind sharing a beer with him one of these days…

Meanwhile, in unrelated news, an unnamed five year old proved sharper than any of Haji Yerima’s wives.

Quote of the Day

“Government is very worried and concerned every time the school calendar is disrupted. It has its cost on the nation. Particularly, the idle time our children spend at home can lead to a lot of social difficulties,” Labaran Maku prepares to withdraw his kids from the University of Pennsylvania and bring them back home to become Devil’s Workshops.

Quote of the Day (since I’ve been away)

“To close Benin Airport is not good for the security and safety of the airport environment” – FAAN suit, Yakubu Dati joins Green Peace.

Bits and Bobs

The USA is truly paved with gold. Winning the visa lottery fetched Ade N1.5m even before getting on the plane. All he did was marry Funke, 27.

Killers deserve death. After Mrs Idon supervised the killing of a snake in their living room, Mr Idon sent her after the creature.

It’s rainy season, and as a result, the chaps in Aba, despite all the noise made by their state government, say things are not quite as they should be.

Right of Reply

Omon Ehighebolo (and 316 others) wrote,

Where’s my morning tonic? Don’t ever go off air without taking permission again. (Or words to that effect)

Chxta responds,

No vex.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.