The Sexuality Blog: Are you a Nigerian confused about sexuality? We have a glossary for you

Sexuality

Straight – A person attracted to people of the heteronormative opposite gender. Not a choice, no matter how many people suggest the contrary.

Lesbian – A woman who is sexually and emotionally attracted to other women. Not to be mistaken with displays of affection with other women. Women haven’t been sexually repressed for centuries so copping a feel for them means something entirely different than what it means to you.

Gay – (not  a/the gay) – The state of being sexually and emotionally attracted to other people of the same sex. Interchangeably used with homosexual. Neither word specifically refers to men but have come to be used colloquially to refer to them. There is no word that specifically denotes a homosexual man. Faggot and batty boy don’t count.

Bisexual – A person who is attracted to both men and women. Attraction is almost never equal for both genders and often leans in one direction for practical reasons. Bisexual people are either completely disregarded as liars or fetishized for their sexual fluidity. Still doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Transsexual – A person who strongly believes they are supposed to be another gender. Many will often transition from one gender to another. Transitioning has little to do with sexual orientations or romantic attractions. It really is that simple.

Transvestite – A person who enjoys wearing the clothing and participating in the rituals of another gender but have no interest in long term or permanent changes to their current gender. Not to be mistaken with transsexuals.

Queer – A person who is ambivalent about their gender, orientation and sexual attraction and doesn’t feel the need to ‘pick a side’ so to speak. Queer people often straddle the boundaries of social convention without ever committing to any single label. Which pisses everyone off because we’re taught that everyone should fit into a little box. Not happening.

Questioning – A person who is undecided about their gender or orientation and sexual attraction and doesn’t want to be pressured into picking a ‘side’. Questioning people might never actually experiment with other sexualities but that doesn’t mean they’re straight. Which pisses everyone off because we’re taught that everyone should fit into a little box. Not happening either.

Intersex – A person who as a result of genetic mutations is born physically displaying the genital characteristics of more than one gender. Not to be mistaken with a queer person whose ambivalence is intellectual. There are different kind of intersex people, women who present as male, men who present as female, androgynous people who present as both simultaneously. Nature is mighty curious if you ask me.

Asexual – A person for who physical attraction holds little power or interest. Asexual people are often lumped into a sexual orientation because their lack of attraction means like queer people they often to lean to either gender.

Pansexual – A person who is attracted to people of all orientations. This includes gender and sexual orientations. Pansexual people often suffer from the kind of stigmatization bisexual people face.

Polyamorous – A person who openly engages in polygamous/polyandrous relationships with two or more partners, ensuring that the relation is communal, with the partners often developing complex interpersonal relationships with each other devoid of the polyamorous partner that connects them.

C.I.S – comfortable in skin. Refers to people who have no problems with their current genders and sexual orientations. Can apply to both heterosexual, homosexual and transsexual people.

Heteronormative – The myth that everyone should be straight and straight acting.

Phobic – An irrational fear of a thing, person or experience. Often accompanied with exaggerated reactions.

The glossary will be updated as need be.

 

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