Tag Archives: Onoshe Nwabuikwu’s Airtime

Who needs a state of the nation address? Onoshe Nwabuikwu reviews what’s on TV

by Onoshe Nwabuikwu

Who needs a state of the nation address?

Did you hear that a bill to ensure every Nigerian president presents a state of the nation address has passed second reading at the National Assembly? It’s heart warming to know that our legislators have time for other matters aside from playing politics with (almost) everything and toying with the lives of millions of Nigerians. I could’ve sworn that the National Assembly was only interested in protecting their own (think Faroukgate) or making sure President Goodluck Jonathan does not ‘drink water and drop cup’, anything to dissuade him from 2015 especially the House of Representatives under Hon. Aminu Tambuwal. What’s more, they appear bent on ensuring that anyone who could be helping him to look good is an instant enemy.

In the ensuing noise, we get to overlook their huge allowances, the slow progress of law making, etc.  This isn’t the hottest news I know. But I couldn’t help but think of the implications of a state of the nation address from the TV point of view. This may be selfish but I can’t endure one more national broadcast especially one that’s mandated. I don’t think any president should be compelled to address his people.

We already have all kinds of national broadcasts. Can’t the president be advised to include what would ordinarily be in a state of the nation address in say the October 1st or the Democracy Day (May 29) broadcast?   In any case, if previous addresses and even the presidential media chats good examples, the impending state of the union address will not answer most of our questions. In fact, as now happens, certain facts presented by the president in his chats or addresses get disproved even before he leaves the studio.

By the way, a state of the union address ought to deliver on more fronts than just providing an update about the nation. We all live in this nation and my guess is that at any given time, the average Nigerian knows the real state of the nation more than any government official knows or is willing to let on.

I don’t know the raison d’être for state of the nation/state of the union addresses, from the US to the Philippines. But surely the ability to communicate, inspire confidence/sense of security, be charming, etc must count for something? If you know any past president you’d gladly listen to because they meet the above criteria, by all means, let him address us every week if he wants. This makes me think now that NASS is in a law making mood, perhaps we need a law that stipulates how our next president sounds and looks; must tick these boxes: charming, confident, oratorial, etc.

HAVE YOU SEEN?

Fine Lady, Lynxxx’s fine video

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In this video directed by Tom Robson, man-Lynxxx (Chukie Edozien) falls asleep briefly and dreams that he’s found the woman of … his dreams. When he comes to, he realises it’s only a dream. Except that at a bar with a friend, he sees the same girl from his dream..

This is one clean video, literally and figuratively. I’d almost given up on watching a Nigerian video where ‘winding your waist’ wouldn’t be the prime focus. I shudder to think what some other musicians would have shot in a video for a song called Fine Lady.

The Fine Lady video ticks all the boxes as a wedding video, as a fun video, requisite eye candy and celebrity quotient with the cameo appearances from Dr SID, Sasha, Basketmouth, Efya and of course the dream girl Ghanaian actress Joselyn  Dumas. Fine Lady features Wiz Kid.

Hopefully, more musicians will realise that it’s possible to be interesting without going for the cheap and easy vulgar content.

COME AGAIN?
“Abia State PDP kicks against the readmission of Orji Uzor Kalu into the party”.

Why is Abia State PDP kicking against Kalu’s readmission as if they’re powerless? The obvious answer, even if a little incredulous would be that the PDP in Abia State is indeed powerless. After all, Kalu himself has reportedly said no one can stop him from returning to the PDP. He may have possibly used more colourful words like ‘no bagger’ to express this ‘untouchable-ness’.

This is just one more example of how our politicians prefer being in the winning team. Kalu made some attempts at running his own party-PPA. He even got a couple of governors even though they’ve since decamped to the PDP. There must be something the PDP is doing right for people like Orji Uzor Kalu, Atiku, etc to keep running back. After beginning well with ACN, Atiku couldn’t resist going back.

Meanwhile, political opposition in the South East is on another level altogether. Take APGA for instance. By now, you’d have expected the great Ikemba Ojukwu’s party to have penetrated all the South Eastern states, at least. Instead whatever advantage APGA had is all gone leaving only Anambra State. As if that isn’t bad enough, almost all of the news from APGA is about factions, there are always different people fighting to head one faction or the other.  Did someone say Igbo presidency?

Isaiah Washington…he’s one of the few actors I respect in Hollywood.

-Genevieve Nnaji, interview for the promotion of ‘Doctor Bello’, Africa Magic

In the first part of the interview, Ms Nnaji confessed she didn’t know much about Mr Washington’s work. The little she knew was from ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and she had a hard time recalling the name of the show. Yet.

I respect Genevieve as an actress and she’s free to like what she likes or respect whoever she chooses. Still, she does have a way of putting her foot in. Once upon a time she reportedly said she didn’t watch Nollywood movies.

I know Genevieve is only trying to show her respect for a fellow actor.  But it comes off as condescending. We have to assume that Genevieve is speaking from a position of superiority. That Nollywood which is still her claim to fame somehow ranks above Hollywood which would make her stooping to respect anyone in Hollywood a big deal. Perhaps Genevieve’s endorsement could be a career break for Isaiah Washington? Otherwise, why is the fact that she respects him important?

Out of how many Hollywood actors did Genevieve consider Isaiah Washington ‘one of the few’ she respects? Not to mention, just how hot is Monsieur Washington at this material time in Hollywood?

REEL REVIEW
The Meeting

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Director: Mildred Okwo

Starring: Rita Dominic, Kate Henshaw, Nse Ikpe Etim, Linda Ejjofor, Femi Jacobs, Basorge Tariah jnr., Jide Kosoko, Chinedu Ikedieze

Makinde Esho (Femi Jacobs) is sent by his Lagos-based company to see a minister in Abuja to get much needed authorisation for a substation project. Confident of his appointment booked for early Monday morning, he sets off to Abuja with a plan to return to Lagos later on the same day. Of course, he makes no plans for sleeping over. But he spends the rest of the week before he succeeds and even then only through some jungle tactics. In the five days he spends at the Ministry of Land, Makinde has to contend with the almighty receptionist Clara (Rita Dominic) whom he tags the gatekeeper, more powerful than the minister. Each day brings with it a different setback as bureaucracy is given a new meaning. The saving grace during his entire ordeal is youth corper Ejira (Linda Ihuoma Ejiofor) whom he meets on his first day as he gives her a lift from the airport. In spite of the big age difference, Ejura also becomes his love interest.

Femi Jacobs

 There’s a representation of different tribes and characters in the minister’s waiting room: Mrs Kachikwu doesn’t want to run afoul of Clara or the powers that be. Hajia is willing to be patient while trying to remain on Clara’s good side. Professor Akpan Udofia (Basorge Tariah jnr.) suffers humiliation but understands that’s the occupational hazard of being a government consultant. In any case, his attempts to enforce his rights only anger Clara to activate ‘Code Red’ to get him thrown out of the office for constituting a nuisance in a federal government office. Mrs Ikomi (Kate Henshaw) ‘gets with the programme’ and dresses the part to achieve her aim of getting approval to buy federal government land in her village.

In the end, almost everyone settles or is willing to which shows just how the system can suck anyone in out of frustration. But Makinde or (Mr M to Ejura) holds out and refuses to appease Clara-It would’ve been cheaper to bribe her considering his hotel bill which is what the audience in the cinema hall thought. Well, Makinde ends up giving Clara a ‘commemorative’ gift of champagne, drink of champions according to Clara even though that’s of little help.

The Meeting tackles the serious issues of public service and people’s perception/acceptance of public servants, doing business ethically, etc. There’s also our dependence on religion as a crutch. This is wrapped with humour almost like a capsule. You’ll laugh but catch yourself in time and if you’re reflective your laughter can give way to tears. At the very least, your conscience will be stirred. This is the level our public service has fallen. Alas, the corruption isn’t only in ministries. It is in the universities, hospitals, etc. Fortunately, The Meeting doesn’t allow the seriousness of its subject matter to turn it into a preachy sermon.

Rita Dominic

Casting hits the mark. Surely Rita Dominic has been a government receptionist in a previous life? Linda Ejiofor (main reason I watch Tinsel) plays Ejira seamlessly. I didn’t ‘see’ Basorge Tariah jnr. on first watch (I have seen The Meeting twice). So good is Basorge as Prof Akpan Udofia. Femi Jacobs gets the naivety/principled balance right. Nse Ikpe Etim as Bolarinwa offers a meaty interpretation of ‘the girlfriend’ in that she’s not a predictable bimbo. Actually, everyone holds their own.

 

 

 

‘Airtime’ reviews Comedy Central, Star Quest, MTN services and the anti-mini-skirt soldiers in Wuse market

Ayo Makun

I’d almost forgotten the entertainment that one gets from talent shows on TV.

by Onoshe Nwabuikwu

Before getting on Comedy Central
I’ve been meaning to write this since Comedy Central debuted on DSTV Channel 122 to plead with our comedians to strive to be on top of their game before the besiegement of the channel begins. It’s well within reason to expect that very soon Nigerian comedians will be on Comedy Central even if only watched by viewers from the continent. How to prevent our predilection for ‘Mo gbo, Mo ya’ which in transliteration means:  ‘I heard, I came’ or ‘branched’. That’s essentially the same thing as jumping on the bandwagon just because it’s supposedly “reigning” or trending just like in Fela’s ‘Follow-follow’.

However, my focus was somewhat broadened after I saw the award-winning comedian AY-Ayo Makun on Comedy Club Live in Lagos about two weeks ago on the MNET channel. The show usually features two comedians, one well-known and the other upcoming, AY was obviously the star while Funnybon must have fitted the upcoming bill. Having followed AY on TV and AY Show (via VCDs), I was expecting to have a hilarious time.  But Mr Makun didn’t deliver. Needless to say, it’s been difficult to laugh with Nigeria’s big boys of comedy on the Comedy Club series.

Funny aside, there’s the critical issue of telling relevant jokes to suit the environment. Why would AY begin a show before a mostly non-Nigerian audience with, “Everybody say, un hun, un hun?” Nigerians know that’s his Pastor Chris Okotie shtick. But what’s that before a Ugandan audience? And what’s with dissing Nigeria outside of Nigeria especially to non-Nigerians? Our reputation is bad enough as it is.

Star Quest on TV-Not a laughing matter

Star Quest judges grand auditions

We’ve been talking about Star Quest for a few weeks now and feel as if we are familiar with happenings on what’s Nigeria’s only band-based talent show. Nothing beats watching the show on TV. Underscoring this fact, Obabiyi Fagade, brand manager, Star, said: “The idea behind bringing Star Quest to the screen is to bring the Star Quest excitement home to people.”  This would also help in, “Engaging followers as well as sustaining the excitement” around the competition. That engagement started March 31st. I’d almost forgotten the entertainment that one gets from talent shows on TV. You’re at least sure of comedy from contestants, real and unintended. For the most part, I was awed by the sheer courage of some wannabe stars. I know the 2012 Star Quest slogan is ‘Dare Yourself on Stage’ and it’s like some took this too literally. ‘Can’t sing to save their lives’ hovered over them like a smelly cloak but as the pidgin saying goes: ‘Dem no wan know’. Now, that could be commendable.

Nonetheless, the Star Quest auditions are not all about people with musical delusions. Right after giving the judges: Paul Play Dairo, Waje and KC a hand for sitting through it all, we must be happy for the truly talented. On the Tuesday 3 April show, the contestant wearing tag LA 331(rapper Romeo Ugwudike) impressed the most. KC and Paul Play were quick to go hug him on stage. I’m no rap fan but Romeo was effortlessly impressive. With the performances slated for April 6 by the six bands formed from the chosen 36 in the Star Fameland, real business has begun.

…QUOTABLES…FROM STAR QUEST

   “I’m da bomb, my father is a terrorist.” (Romeo).

“All swag and no punch line makes you a wack emcee,” Paul Play to the ‘Rude Boy’ representing Ebute Metta (LA 640). “That sounds like somebody high on cheap drugs.” To which new judge, Waje quipped, “Saridon P, Panadol Extra.”

Perhaps, the funniest would have to be these lyrics: “I was asleep and I heard my friend say this is star quest…’ which reminded me of a Klint da Drunk joke on how reggae musicians write songs: ‘I woke up one morning, I was going along the road …, I hit my leg on a stone’ to which the I-Threes (á la Bob Marley) would chorus ‘stone, stone, stone’. .

OFF AIR

MTN’s BlackBerry Blues

Almost every GSM company running the Blackberry service has had its fair share of complaints. So, let’s agree that none is perfect. However, I’m amazed at the sheer indifference shown by MTN to a customer’s plight. I first got on MTN’s BBC (1,500) plan around the third week of February 2012. That didn’t work. I was bothered enough that I subscribed the next day to another provider. After a month, I thought it wise to re-subscribe to MTN’s higher and presumably better plan (N3, 000). But as I write, I can’t access Twitter, etc. Not even the blackberry messaging works. I’m told I’m on a plan that doesn’t allow that.

It isn’t the magnitude of the problem but the fact that I spent two days at the Efab Mall (Area 11, Abuja, FCT) MTN Centre trying to resolve this problem to no avail. And the fact that everyone, even the advertised expert would happily tell me: ‘It’s network’.

Anti-mini-skirt soldiers in Wuse market               

This is a warning to anyone planning to visit Wuse Market Abuja anytime soon. On Sunday 1 April (no April fool), some boys in the market wanted to strip a young lady who dared to wear a long-sleeved but short clinging dress made from some jersey-like material. Before confusion broke out, I’d seen the girl and noticed how ‘barrow’ boys gathered to ogle, lost in lust. It took the intervention of a Good Samaritan female trader who gave the girl a wrapper and eventually a policeman who was called in to lead her away still tying the wrapper-while a quickly ballooned mob followed.

Yes, the dress left little to the imagination but who’s running the ‘anti-mini skirt army’ in Wuse Market?

The FCT minister needs to look into this matter. The next time someone, an important perhaps ‘international someone’, may end up dead.

 

 

 

 

Cashless or Clueless? Onoshe Nwabuikwu’s ‘Airtime’ reviews Starquest, Tinsel and that annoying CBN commercial

Now the PDP convention is over

I would have avoided the much talked about PDP convention if I could. As an Abuja resident, I thank God the thousands of policemen for the event was not tested. I managed to avoid most of the traffic caused by the closure of roads around the Eagle Square, venue of the convention. But as far as watching it on TV goes, I’m always happy to be the fly on the wall.

The square looked full—presumably with party faithful, decked out in brightly coloured attire. I wasn’t expecting to hear any world-changing speech so I could only entertain myself, seeing as the ruling party hasn’t really improved life very much. Even Nollywood (which Bob Manuel Udokwu, co-compere must have been representing) couldn’t come up with some of the stories and characters that have come out of the PDP. Two ex-governors kicked out of office because their ‘elections’ were proven to be fraudulent have now been rewarded with positions in the party.

Speaking of characters, they were everywhere. Leading the cast were OBJ and Mr Fix It. No, they were not a sight for sore eyes. OBJ seems to have regained some of his power while Tony Anenih didn’t look so mysterious anymore. As someone pointed out, losing out in Edo State can’t be helping him. There was a moment when he was shown talking with an uncharacteristically animated President Goodluck Jonathan. The president was obviously miffed about something and he was going to let Anenih know! Ahmadu Ali was overly interested in unravelling the PDP branded hand fans being shared at the venue. Time was when Ali was like God. No, actually ‘after him, na God’ as ‘Bedel’ people say. And Sarah Jibril (presidential adviser on ethics?) looked very happy. Should Nigerian women thank God there are other female politicians?

There were the obligatory rounds of greetings and ‘eye service’ which just created confusion, which  couldn’t have been good for security. Why couldn’t people just stay in their seats? We do this even at closed-door events when walking around only inconveniences other people. But we are so concerned about being seen or talking to some powerful oga, what we are wearing and have the least concern for how others feel. And one very big man who looked like Chief Iwuanyanwu nearly toppled over near the president.

No PDP convention is complete without the ‘fee-dee-fee; ‘fower-to-the fifool-’ moment. A new one: senator as ‘sin-ator’. Usually, at these events our politicians have a look of triumph, like the cat who got the milk or the politician who got the GMG. You don’t see a determined look to improve Nigeria. If it were about Nigeria, why waste all that money on empty slogans? What exactly are we celebrating? And being decked out in agbadas doesn’t communicate an immediate readiness to do anything. I have to agree with a friend who says that any country with the agbada as national dress is not serious.

In the end, my time ‘at the convention’ was cut short by what else, power outage. Pray, does the D in PDP stand for Darkness? I didn’t get to see Bamanga Tukur emerge chairman by consensus. I didn’t also see Mallam Garba Chiza, the 60-year-old national youth leader. But I did hear how candidates were suddenly ‘reconsidering their candidature’. In fact, in one such case, the acting chairman announced without a hint of irony that out of three candidates, ‘a few of them’ were rethinking their candidature. What’s ‘a few’ out of three people?

STAR QUEST

36 stars make 6 bands

Finally, the thirty six contestants going to morph into six contesting bands in the ongoing Star Quest have been unveiled. Thanks to the well-attended grand auditions two Saturdays ago at Zinnia Hall, Eko Hotel Lagos, the quest is now in full swing. As expected, there were fifty-five hopeful contestants who had passed the first stage of the competition out of thousands of aspiring musicians who had thronged audition venues from across the country.

The task at the grand audition—to further prune down to thirty six—wasn’t as simple as subtracting nineteen from fifty five. Confessing to having seen “the best crop of musical talents from this country” at the grand auditions, Paul Play Dairo, one of the judges, said the elimination process still had to be done. But he insisted that the nineteen were “going home not necessarily because they are not good enough but simply because the standard of this competition is very high. I can tell you here that we just saw. It is so painful but the show must go on”. Well, learning to take and bounce back from rejection is almost the first thing anyone hoping to survive in entertainment must learn. Tomorrow after all is another day.

With Paul Play’s words as guide, the thirty six chosen contestants must indeed be truly gifted. So, how will that affect what viewers see in the rest of the competition? You can go ahead and dream, no one can blame you for being very expectant.

Enter the lucky thirty-six in no particular order: Michael Asuquo, David Akinola, Willy Emmanuel, Chukwudi Okafor, Michael Leramo, Olayemi Obamuwasa, Edim Inyang, Omo Ehigiator, SamueAramogho, Alfred Ayokanmi, Stanley Ogbebor, Osigbeme Oghenakhogioe, Theophilus Otevwogbiku, Princess Eze, Romeo Ugwudike, Elizbeth Afolayan, Vivian Aluebho, Uyimwen Igiehon, Oghenetega Apochi, Amaka Nwoke, Naomi Oboyi, Ewoma Egedi,  Chris Aba , Nkem Alfred, Edafe Supply Moore, Omuovakpo Aghomishe, Chijoke Frederick, Nnam Eziechina, Oluwole Omotosho, Bamidele Fatola, Francis Igwe, Udonwa Ogbujah, Daniel Onibudo, Isaac Yusuf, Chinemerem Otti and Nkiruka Chima.

The story of the Star Quest journey has already begun (March 31st) on selected TV stations. Come April 6, there will be a grand performance from the brand new bands at the MUSON Centre, Lagos. Entrance is free.

 

CBN’s TVC: Cashless or … Clueless?

Have you seen the Central Bank of Nigeria, CBN’’s TV commercial about cashless banking? A man wakes up to discover the N750, 000 he kept inside his pillow is missing (along with the pillow). A woman, supposedly ‘Cash Madam’ visits and he can barely contain himself in his agitation, understandably. I’d like to think that even a billionaire would miss N750k. But before you can say Dangote or CBN, he’s recovered. All because of some wonderful news about ATMs, etc. from the CBN courtesy of Cash Madam. Then suddenly, this man (who doesn’t particularly look like he has N750 to spare) forgets his N750, 000. Just like that. Let’s call him Mugu A.

The trouble with our advertising is that we don’t stick long enough with the story. If you choose to tell a story or dramatise an idea, you have to stay true to your concept. Otherwise you could just run a straight announcorial. Perhaps an extra model who could’ve learnt firsthand from the Mugu A’s foolishness was called for. Mugu A’s recovery after a N750, 000 loss is as unreal (in real life) as it is unconvincing in the commercial. The CBN may need to have another talk with its ad agency. Or talk to another agency…

GUS winner, Okechukwu on Tinsel

Okechukwu Christopher Okagbue, the 2011 winner of Guilder Ultimate Search, GUS season 8 is the latest addition to the ever evolving Tinsel family on MNET. His character is Emil, son of World Movies ex-chief operating officer (either Duro Onabolu or an uncanny lookalike). Emil looks set to play Angela Dede’s (Matilda Obaseki) love interest. Quite a few story lines need rejuvenating and the Angela storyline needed some new life. I mean, how crazy can one person get?

    So far, Okechukwu Okagbue, the University of Lagos sociology undergraduate, is holding his own

‘Airtime’ with Onoshe Nwabuikwu: Cool FM’s not so cool, female singers impress & more

Onoshe Nwabuikwu’s Airtime comes to YNaija! Keeping an eye on Nigerian television and radio.

It’s a woman’s world

If a jingle could be attached to this write-up, it would be Beyoncé’s ‘Run the World (Girls)’. I know it doesn’t always feel or appear as if girls are on top of or running anything. And there may be statistics to disprove this ‘girls running the world’ claim. For the purposes of this write-up, girls and women mean the same thing.

Omawumi

I saw three female musicians the other day on TV and I had some happy thoughts. The girls: Omawumi Megbele, Tiwa Savage and Waje (Aituaje-Iruobe) were on MNET’s ‘53 Extra’ dining out with co-presenter Eku Edewor as part of Valentine programming.

Watching and listening to them talk reminded me just how far women have come and how well they appear to be doing musically. There was a time there weren’t these many gifted female singers on the scene. Now, I only mention these three girls to represent other female musicians. And there’s quite a list. Look at the winners of recent (music) talent shows. For instance, the last two or three editions Project Fame West Africa were won by girls.

I’m impressed by the new crop of female singers/performers, with their talent and the seeming effortlessness of their art. I also like the fact that they seem to understand the image/branding, call it the show part of the music business. As we know, it’s not enough to be blessed with talent. In these parts, you have to be (almost) a Jack of all trades just to keep up.

As the world celebrates the International Day for Women (March 8), let’s celebrate our women/girls who are running things in music. 

When Cool is not so cool

By Emmanuel Osanedum

All the clichés about the problems of Nigerian Radio came to bear the last time, one week ago, that I found myself on Cool FM one otherwise beautiful evening. You’d have to be one of those weird accidents of nature that actively believe Radio is a medium solely for advertising to have had fun listening, over a period of almost half an hour, to an unrelenting cascade of advertising. Everything, from Star Quest to D’banj’s Live Nation concert; one couldn’t wait for the advertising to end. And when it did, I wish it hadn’t because what followed was the most inane radio conversations I have been unlucky to listen to, and in Nigerian radio, there are so many of those, it’s an achievement to stand out.

Where to start?  There was the most inane riff of the ‘Red wine’ UB40 song, there was the awkward conversation about the male presenter’s apology to a friend for missing his birthday and then it turns out that the said story is a parable and it’s not really a birthday he missed and it wasn’t really his friend, and it wasn’t really a man, and when this same presenter used to be young, his father used to give him alcohol to drink. If you are lost, then welcome because you’re in good company.

Between both of them, there was a cacophony of annoying foreign accents to last three mediocre Radio stations. “You gat people”, ‘sayyyyy’ instead of ‘say’ and on and on. The show’s name is either Night Café or the Goodnight Kiss Show, depending on which of the presenters you asked.

And why is it ‘powered by music,’ Cool FM’s new pay off? Hasn’t that been Soundcity’s for almost a decade now?

From PDP’s Edo gubernatorial primaries

When I found myself on AIT Saturday February 25 afternoon, I was drawn by the take-charge- host/emcee of the PDP gubernatorial primaries in Edo State. I heard him saying ‘demo-crassy’ and I thought, ‘no wonder we are so crass’. But I’m told that even some native speakers of the English language pronounce it as ‘demo-crassy’.

As subsequent events showed, neither demo-‘crassy’ nor its (demo) ‘crazy’ cousin has truly taken root in these parts. The emcee insisted on being in charge of every aspect while somewhere in the audience Mr Fix It, Tony Anenih looked on as did many party faithful. I remember another primary, a few years ago when he apologised for the stupendously lackluster Lucky Igbinedion even though four years into his eight year rule, Anenih had declared there was no vacancy in the Edo government house.

A fight almost broke out at some point because a confused (perhaps not literate) delegate turned to a fellow delegate for help with voting instead of the party agents and some people wanted to take matters into their own hands.

The fact, as it later turned out, that the man calling the shots was Nyesom Wike, the minister of state for Education, only added to my ‘wonderment’. Just looking at him, not many would associate him by a long mile with education. With a name that must have ‘spoof-ers’ in seventh heaven (‘nyem something’ comes to mind), the minister of state butchered Edo and Yoruba names mercilessly. Why did he have to do it himself? Ivie became ‘Eevee’. As for Airhiavbere, well… Even I, an Edo State citizen have to dig deep for that one. What about Osariemen Osunbor which appears simple enough? The names got mangled. This must be part of the reason Prof Osunbor reportedly walked out of the venue. I think that instead of ex-aspirants like Imansuagbon and co suing the PDP because of the outcome of the primaries, they should seek some kind of redress for the way their names were ‘Wike-dly’ manhandled.

The winner to face Comrade Governor Adams Oshiomhole in July is General Charles Ehigie Airhiavbere (rtd). One thing is sure, whoever wins, more tongue biting/twisting ahead.

COME AGAIN?

“Sultan of Sokoto Sa’ad Abubakar pleads with federal government to eradicate “Almajiri” scourge in northern Nigeria”.

-AIT news headlines, Wednesday February 29, 2 am-ish

Come Again? Again? Or as ‘Bedel’ people would say: ‘Na today?’ In American speak, you’d have: Really! I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea that ‘almajiris’ scourge or no scourge can be eradicated like polio and malaria. Not that we have even managed to achieve that.

How does eradication begin: More money from the federation account? I see Sanusi Lamido nodding heartily and the chief servant governor agreeing as heartily. Free education? Or strict enforcement of four children per family? How? One is tempted to lament: ‘Poor federal government’. From where I’m seated, the Sultan appears to be in a much better position.

“Ibori and accomplices will still be tried in Nigeria says EFCC”.

-AITNews headlines, Wednesday February 29, 2 am-ish.

James Ibori

Is this a leap year joke? Isn’t it enough that the British justice system (which doesn’t recognise chieftaincy titles, eldership or godfather-ship of certain political parties) has exposed our insincerity at fighting corruption? At the very least, EFCC should pretend it contributed something to the process of Ibori’s arrest and guilty plea. Meanwhile, this statement was preceded by the EFCC saying on account of the Ibori guilty plea that the Nigerian judiciary needed urgent reform. Will this reform come fast enough before a new trial begins?

I see there’s a need for the ‘new’ EFCC to (try to) distance itself from the era of the designer glasses- wearing Farida Waziri. But the way to go is to focus on new cases/charges. After all, Ibori is not the only money-laundering ex-governor. Why not deliver on these ones instead of reminding us of the EFCC’s toothlessness?

If the EFCC really feels a need to do something, let it recover the $250m Ibori has agreed to launder. The London Metropolitan Police has helpfully broken that down to $38 per person that lived in Delta State at that time definitely not including those women who followed Ibori to Kaduna Court half-naked in the name of support. You can be sure that if the Nigerian trial does take place, we’ll have more people ‘showing/baring’ their support.

 Eagles in high spirit ahead of Rwanda game”.

-Channels news headlines, Wednesday February 29, 8. 44 am-ish.

Let’s hope they remain in high spirits after the match.